Customer Care Manager Gifts

"Nigel takes criticism from customers really seriously!"

"Here's what I'm gonna do."

"Maybe now, we could look at customer care'?"

"Why won't you teach us how to handle complaints?"

"Philosophy Department. Why may I direct your call?"

'The bad news is it's all our client's money.'

'Well, I'm not very satisfied with our customers, either.'

Maybe it's now time to review our customer care strategy!"

'The client has asked that you please stop referring to the product as, 'Crappy Crap Crap.'

"Great idea of yours to offer their money back if not satisfied."

"I've spent all night diluting our negative reviews on Yelp." "Really?" "Yeah. You know how you can usually tell when a business owner does that?" "They post 'reviews' that don't have even a hint of negativity." "Amateurs. Check out the negatives I include: 'House of Java Cafe. I hate it because it's so perfect, it makes the rest of my day feel inadequate.'"

Your ad here!

"Did you speak to our client in Australia?"

"Look at them over there, looking all smug with their clients and accounts and stuff."

'Your call may be monitored to give us a few good laughs.'

"Why have you doubled the price of oatmeal?"

"I suppose that's what happens when 'putting customers first' comes second!"

'The customers' suggestions make a lot of sense. I say, let's hire the customers and fire the staff!'

"You can't say that to a customer!"

'Don't call us, we'll call you, inc,'

"Could you spare a few minutes to give some feedback on your death experience?"

"I've got your letter in front of me now, sir."

"You can tell it's a classy restaurant - they're ignoring us with panache."

"That's the Ommbudsman."

Automated customer service.

"Our latest survey shows our customers basically want just three things: prompt service, and apology when mistakes occur and to be treated politely..."

"I'm sorry, but you wait patiently on the line for an operator. We're looking for someone who immediately pushes 3 for more options."

'I'm keen on precise statistics as the next person...'

"I'm here to thank you. The suffering index is much higher since you outsourced your customer service and tech support overseas."

"We need to really FOCUS on our customers if we're to rip them off to inflate our profits."

'Yes sir, I'll get my chief daydreamer onto it now.'

'Loosing your job managing the community centre was obviously a blow...but luckily we have come up with a volunteering opportunity for you...'

"This conversation may be recorded for training purposes, depending on how well we confuse you."

business lunch

'Our efforts to be rude impersonal, overpriced and inconvenient has made us leaders in jet fuel efficiency.'