Call Center Manager Gifts

Smooth Operators - Customer Feedback.

'That is your fully automated customer care system.'

'...thanks for calling. You will now getting kicked out of the line.'

"Your company must be huge. before they gave me to you I was speaking to someone in India."

"You can't say that to a customer!"

Your call is important to us, but not enough to hire additional staff thank you.

'More outsourcing!'

'Sir, our new automated telephone system saves us $20,000 annually, but our phone business has dropped 66%!'

Smooth Operators - Hi Tech.

Smooth Operators -Holiday Cover.

"If you really want to bother one of our listless, underpaid service agents with your unimportant bla-bla, please press #1..."

"Good morning, and thank you for calling the department of we know your feelings are hurt but we don't give a s**t. How can I not care about anything you have to say today?"

"The customers are hanging up as soon as they're put on hold. Either they're growing more impatient, or I shouldn't have agreed to make them listen to Richard's early Seventies prog-rock recordings."

"I'm here to thank you. The suffering index is much higher since you outsourced your customer service and tech support overseas."

"Rest assured, we will be working hard to stop the onslaught of scammers and the scourge of robocalls..."

"I'm sorry, but you wait patiently on the line for an operator. We're looking for someone who immediately pushes 3 for more options."

"We're just checking to make sure you're happy being on our DO NOT CALL list."

Cull bosses who make their employees work at Christmas when it's not essential.

Customer Services: Call Centre.

Automated customer service.

"Look, we sell insurance so cut out all the 'meaning of life stuff!"

'We're never going to get any sleep at night until you hire a call screener!'

"And you deliver anywhere, right?"

'...as you appear to be in the process of passing away, could I take a moment to make you aware of a special offer on coffins...'

'I'm not calling you in India for technical support. I'm calling to offer you a job.'

'I pay millions for a call centre and I'm listening to a complaint!!'

Smooth Operators - Change Management.

'Sorry, but we're transfering you from 'hold' to 'holdover'.'

'Layoffs have resulted in slower customer service, but we have upgraded the elevator music they listen to while they're on hold.'

'Have you tried pulling the udders?'

"May I put you on hold? I was on another line."

All of our representatives are busy right now. Stay on the line and someone will be with you in a few miles.

'Mr. Coleman is on vacation. Would you care to hold?'

"Hi, you've reached Susan's desk. I am monotasking right now, so I'll call you back it's the phone's turn again. Beep!"

"Nice talking to you too, even if you are a recorded message."