Curmudgeonly Connoisseur Gifts

The fate that awaits us all: creeping Rooneyism

"Maybe I don't like stunning debuts."

'This wine is dreadful - try some.'

"For dessert, absolutely no flambé!"

Imagine

'If God had meant us to fly, he'd give us more leg room.'

"Call this an iceberg? When I was a kid we wouldn't have called this an iceburg!"

"There goes our early night."

"Yes, it's a sports related injury. He dropped his bowling ball."

'... Further to our telephone conversation of the 3rd, my fax of the 11th, my letters of the 16th, 23rd and 28th, my emails of....'

"It says it's the vodka that's distilled twenty-nine times - they just can't seem to get it right."

"I'd like a wine that was born in France and then bummed around California."

"Cat got your tongue?"

A polar bear has slipped and is sprawled out on the ice next to a yellow caution sign that features a slipping figure.

'The Entrecote a la Bordelaise? It's stuff on a plate.'

'Your dilemma is fabulous. Imagine what a dramaturge could do with it.'

"See what I mean? People don't know how to relax anymore."

Pizza and Related Searches.

'Who are you and what do you want?'

The Butcher of 35th street.

"Robust, full-bodied bouquet with just a hint of bitter, mean-spirited despair."

'The mind-body problem is best expressed in the formulation...OOf!'

"I'm working on a watercolor."

I hope Bernie Sanders wins. We've never had a president like him. We've had cool presidents, awkward presidents, dignified presidents, goofy presidents

Blue wine

Old lady spying on the neighbours using a webcam.

Robinson le Creusot

The pilgrimage begins

Comb over club.

'At $12 a glass, I want it to spit out what it drank.'

"As weed-whackers go, it's a little quiet for my taste."

"We have a Sauvignon Blanc to refresh your palate or a lick of this toad to obliterate your sense of self."

'Honk if you know the meaning of life'

"You think he knows something we don't?"

"What do cats want?"