Cautious Connoisseur Gifts

"For dessert, absolutely no flambé!"

"Vintage? What would you like it to be?"

"I dunno, looks like a trap."

'This wine is dreadful - try some.'

Imagine

"Yes, it's a sports related injury. He dropped his bowling ball."

"It says it's the vodka that's distilled twenty-nine times - they just can't seem to get it right."

"I'd like a wine that was born in France and then bummed around California."

'The Entrecote a la Bordelaise? It's stuff on a plate.'

'Now I'm going to lump all your nagging little worries into one big complex.'

"Cat got your tongue?"

"See what I mean? People don't know how to relax anymore."

'Who are you and what do you want?'

"Robust, full-bodied bouquet with just a hint of bitter, mean-spirited despair."

'I'd like to play, but I'm afraid it might void my warranty.'

'The mind-body problem is best expressed in the formulation...OOf!'

"On reflection, it might be prudent to leave this one till last..."

Tortoise Goes For A Swim

Blue wine

"I'm working on a watercolor."

Old lady spying on the neighbours using a webcam.

"As weed-whackers go, it's a little quiet for my taste."

The pilgrimage begins

'At $12 a glass, I want it to spit out what it drank.'

'The 89's are very forward with meat on the nose and a lingering marrow-bone finish.'

"We have a Sauvignon Blanc to refresh your palate or a lick of this toad to obliterate your sense of self."

'Man, the next hangover will kill me for sure... that's why I've decided to be drunk 24 hours a day!'

'Honk if you know the meaning of life'

'You know, this is the second bottle of this I've opened, and I still have no idea what it tastes like.'

"Yep - peanut-free, Ebola-free, gluten-free. That'll be $74."

Drinkers.

"I think this one will suit you, 'A dizzy little number, with a hint of musty socks'."

"Was there ever a boy scout badge for 'caution'?"

"What do cats want?"

"You think he knows something we don't?"