Cautious Connoisseur Gifts

"For dessert, absolutely no flambé!"

"I dunno, looks like a trap."

'This wine is dreadful - try some.'

Imagine

"Yes, it's a sports related injury. He dropped his bowling ball."

"It says it's the vodka that's distilled twenty-nine times - they just can't seem to get it right."

"Cat got your tongue?"

"I'd like a wine that was born in France and then bummed around California."

'The Entrecote a la Bordelaise? It's stuff on a plate.'

'Now I'm going to lump all your nagging little worries into one big complex.'

'Who are you and what do you want?'

"See what I mean? People don't know how to relax anymore."

"Robust, full-bodied bouquet with just a hint of bitter, mean-spirited despair."

'The mind-body problem is best expressed in the formulation...OOf!'

'I'd like to play, but I'm afraid it might void my warranty.'

"I'm working on a watercolor."

"On reflection, it might be prudent to leave this one till last..."

Tortoise Goes For A Swim

Blue wine

Old lady spying on the neighbours using a webcam.

"As weed-whackers go, it's a little quiet for my taste."

"We have a Sauvignon Blanc to refresh your palate or a lick of this toad to obliterate your sense of self."

The pilgrimage begins

'At $12 a glass, I want it to spit out what it drank.'

'Man, the next hangover will kill me for sure... that's why I've decided to be drunk 24 hours a day!'

'The 89's are very forward with meat on the nose and a lingering marrow-bone finish.'

'Honk if you know the meaning of life'

"I think this one will suit you, 'A dizzy little number, with a hint of musty socks'."

"You think he knows something we don't?"

"Was there ever a boy scout badge for 'caution'?"

"What do cats want?"

"It speaks to my desire to spend money."

Drinkers.

'You should try to be more spontaneous.' 'I shall. When I'm good and ready.'

"Yep - peanut-free, Ebola-free, gluten-free. That'll be $74."