Cubicle Fort Architect Gifts

'I see you've heard the downsizing rumor.'

"This position has become very important to the company."

"I wonder if A.I. will inevitably become as tired and depressed as we are."

'That's our mission statement.'

"I'm thinking of turning this home office into a man-cubicle."

"There are no big jobs, only small machines."

Another day at work would be one too many...

"Lost my job. But I'm pretty sure it's around here somewhere."

"You knew this was a soul-sucking job when you took it."

"How was my day? I'm still calculating the little victories minus the humiliations I normally suffer."

Man at desk has a desk tray labeled "In one ear,' and another labeled "Out the other."

Work Slave

'Parsloe, your desk is blocking the corporate food chain.'

'He takes his organization chart seriously.'

'On your marks. Get set. Go!' - 'Come on! Keep going! You can do it!' - 'Yay! You're 8 hours closer to the grave!' - 'Oh, God.'

"Of course I have a life. Not one worth living, mind you."

"Suppose you tell me why you want to be a faceless drone at Globatron Inc.?"

"I may be incompetent. But, if you fire me there'll be no one who knows less about this company than you."

"All this namby pamby nonsense about stress...I've been stressed for YEARS and it's never done ME any harm... " "But you're only 25!"

"Keep up the good work, whatever it is, whoever you are."

'You should agree with me, but not all the time, Try mixing it up a little,'

'By the time I get to greener pastures, my lawn mower will be worn out,'

'You'll be broadening up your horizons in a cubicle.'

I think, theerfore I am underpaid

'Even though you're the client, it's my duty to tell you you're wrong. . . Ok then. Speak slowly so I can write down your every whim.'

'Welcome aboard, Bob. Your job is to figure out what the hell happened here.'

'Think' 'But not too much'

'They'll tell you this is an open office workspace, but watch out for the invisible fences.'

"He can give you five minutes if you can find him."

Thinking outside the cubicle

"I've got an office and I've got a window, but I wouldn't say I've got a window office."

'Are we replacing you with a computer? Ha! That's a good one. If we replaced you with a chimpanzee it would be over qualified.'

After years of working in an office without a door, Doug was moved to a door without an office.

"Yes, I know, Munger. But Wallace Stevens didn't scribble his damned verses on company time."

"The quicksand was corporate's idea. I wanted to fire you for going over my head. They wanted to send a message."