Crystal Seller Gifts

"Malachite promotes inner peace, hope and security, but I can’t say for certain it will help you put up with your boss."

Guy at drink stand says to Medium: 'Medium?'

"The sweater you knit him will be thrown out in February."

"I forsee you will have a better chance of winning the lottery than growing your testicles back."

Don't worry, I see babies, lots of babies...

'I foresee a few more months of creating havoc without consequences, and then, yes, I see the 'cute' factor will start to wear thin...'

What's In Her Bag? Coachella Edition!

'... And this is Goldsmith, our futures consultant.'

New Age Store.

"I know you think this sort of thing is nonsense sir, and I hate to prove you wrong. But according to my crystal ball, you're not going to give me the raise I'm about to ask for."

Madame Lucille - Fortune Teller 'I predict the future'.

"What's the final episode of 'Seinfeld' about?""It's about nothing."

'Can you see the future of my 401(k)?'

"You are going to have lots of puppies."

"So how much money have you made from your psychic hotline business?"

'Your future looks charming.'

"In two million years from now people like me will still be very rich tanks to idiots like you!"

"It will be all your fault."

'This New Year you will be bathed in a sea of cash!...Hand on...Sorry. This New Year you will need a flea bath for some sort of rash.'

"Even if I did believe that he was communicating through you. I'm afraid it's too late to change the will now."

YOU HAVE A VERY LARGE GENIUS GRANT LINE.

Like most billionaires, Hugh Andrews the third prefers to bowl with crystal pins.

"Oh, the crystal ball rolled off and fell right on my foot! Didn't see it coming!"

"I know I'm going to get older - but how much?"

Govt. UK led by Seance

"We're wasting our time. He gets them free at work."

'I can't say what the market's going to do, but you're going to have fourteen children.'

'You will meet a sexy, honest fortune teller who will take all your money!'

'Insofar as all parties have agreed to mediation, I've taken the liberty of hiring a medium.'

'You see me coming here every week and paying you fifty dollars...'

"I see you naked. A beautiful young woman is leaning over you... Oh, hang on. She's performing your autopsy."

'Can you get me in touch with people that own me money?'

'Of course, the future isn't what it used to be.'

"I see you coming into money, at least 50p for a cup of tea."

Hog Futures