Crystal Ball Seeker Gifts

'The cards say 'buy' but the tea leaves say 'sell'.'

Guy at drink stand says to Medium: 'Medium?'

'Any minute now I'll be getting a headache.'

What's In Her Bag? Coachella Edition!

'I foresee a few more months of creating havoc without consequences, and then, yes, I see the 'cute' factor will start to wear thin...'

Don't worry, I see babies, lots of babies...

Quantum Psychic

New Age Store.

A cow goes to the Fortune Teller - 'I can see two all beef patties, special sauce, lettuce, cheese, pickles, onions, on a sesame seed bun...!'

"I know you think this sort of thing is nonsense sir, and I hate to prove you wrong. But according to my crystal ball, you're not going to give me the raise I'm about to ask for."

Madame Lucille - Fortune Teller 'I predict the future'.

'If you had been born two days later you'd have been kind and clever with a great sense of humour.'

'... And your wife says; don't bother looking for the key to the drinks cabinet, because she's hidden it where you'll never find it.'

'Can you see the future of my 401(k)?'

"So how much money have you made from your psychic hotline business?"

"In two million years from now people like me will still be very rich tanks to idiots like you!"

"I must say, that was a very detailed answer to my 'where do you see yourself in five years' question."

YOU HAVE A VERY LARGE GENIUS GRANT LINE.

"I see you, I see a vet, you're sore for weeks afterwards."

"We're having a special today on bright futures."

Like most billionaires, Hugh Andrews the third prefers to bowl with crystal pins.

Ill next Thursday

"Oh, the crystal ball rolled off and fell right on my foot! Didn't see it coming!"

"You are going to meet a beautiful young lady at a biology lesson. . ."

'Come off it-she only said the guys will be fighting over us because you said we lived UNDER a boxing club!'

Govt. UK led by Seance

'- and what makes you think they must have been TALL?'

'Before we begin, let me see what my fortune cookie says.'

'Insofar as all parties have agreed to mediation, I've taken the liberty of hiring a medium.'

"Call yourself a fortune teller? I've never even heard of the Cairo museum!"

'You see me coming here every week and paying you fifty dollars...'

Nostradamus.

"Malachite promotes inner peace, hope and security, but I can’t say for certain it will help you put up with your boss."

'Of course, the future isn't what it used to be.'

'We will conduct the background check. Our fortune, Madame Zula, will conduct a complimentary future check.'