Crystal Ball Gazer Gifts

'I see your investments going up but it's not clear which ones or when.'

'How do you want it - the crystal mumbo jumbo or the statistical probability?'

Economists.

'I see that you have two sisters and you like the Beatles. I predict that you will graduate in 2012...'

'Sorry, I don't do financial advice.'

"I see good things in your future."

'When will it be OK to feel irrationally exuberant again?'

'If you had been born two days later you'd have been kind and clever with a great sense of humour.'

"You had a great summer and you're going to have a great fall."

'I see weapons of mass destruction!'

"I've made contact with your mother. She says she hates what you're wearing."

"I must say, that was a very detailed answer to my 'where do you see yourself in five years' question."

'We'll start with the minutes of next year's AGM.'

"Beware start-ups with a negative cash flow."

"Call yourself a fortune teller? I've never even heard of the Cairo museum!"

'Shall we get started - You haven't got all day.'

'Now he wants to talk? Five years I've been gone. What kind of son waits five years to contact his mother?'

'For $50, I predict your future. Act now and I'll even throw in a few self-fulfilling prophecies.'

'You will work harder for less than your parents and you may never retire. The good news is, you'll live longer.'

"Is that before or after tax?"

"Anything yet?"

'Lucky you! I see cherries!...No, wait. They're cranberries'

"I see you, I see a vet, you're sore for weeks afterwards."

'It's five dollars cheaper if you watch the commercials.'

'Let me gaze into my snowglobe...'

Farmer Problems.

"I see you getting rich because of what the gold in your rings is now bringing."

'You're going on a journey.' - 'Will I find a place to park?'

Man see's 'Distribution' in his crystal ball

'Do you believe in telepathy?' 'That's exactly what I was going to ask you.'

'Someone close to you is about to get a nasty shock'.

'I wonder if I can increase its range?'

"I see...I see you voting 'no' about something..."

'Stranger?.. No, it's definitely a tall, dark strangler.'

Nostradamus.