Crystal Ball Gazers Gifts

"Joe, is that you? Can you really hear me? What's the password for the email?"

"The spirits say you have all the data. Just do something."

The Holstein Prophecy.

'Clairvoyant' 'Closed due to unforeseen circumstances'

First Annual Psychic Convention

'I see you're not wearing clean underpants.'

Madam Zara Knows All - Sorry, NO Homework

'I see you meeting a man who can borrow at well below prime.'

"I see you getting rich because of what the gold in your rings is now bringing."

Premonition

"Well botox would help that big wrinkle, then a good quality hand cream, and maybe a manicure?..."

'Any minute now I'll be getting a headache.'

"I forsee you will have a better chance of winning the lottery than growing your testicles back."

"The sweater you knit him will be thrown out in February."

'I foresee a few more months of creating havoc without consequences, and then, yes, I see the 'cute' factor will start to wear thin...'

Don't worry, I see babies, lots of babies...

'... And this is Goldsmith, our futures consultant.'

A cow goes to the Fortune Teller - 'I can see two all beef patties, special sauce, lettuce, cheese, pickles, onions, on a sesame seed bun...!'

"What's the final episode of 'Seinfeld' about?""It's about nothing."

"I know you think this sort of thing is nonsense sir, and I hate to prove you wrong. But according to my crystal ball, you're not going to give me the raise I'm about to ask for."

Madame Lucille - Fortune Teller 'I predict the future'.

'If you had been born two days later you'd have been kind and clever with a great sense of humour.'

'This New Year you will be bathed in a sea of cash!...Hand on...Sorry. This New Year you will need a flea bath for some sort of rash.'

'... And your wife says; don't bother looking for the key to the drinks cabinet, because she's hidden it where you'll never find it.'

'Can you see the future of my 401(k)?'

"In two million years from now people like me will still be very rich tanks to idiots like you!"

'Your future looks charming.'

"I used to be a medium, but now I'm a large."

"So how much money have you made from your psychic hotline business?"

"It will be all your fault."

"Even if I did believe that he was communicating through you. I'm afraid it's too late to change the will now."

"I must say, that was a very detailed answer to my 'where do you see yourself in five years' question."

YOU HAVE A VERY LARGE GENIUS GRANT LINE.

"I see you, I see a vet, you're sore for weeks afterwards."

"We're having a special today on bright futures."