Crystal Gazers Gifts

"If you never date a prediction it can't be proved wrong."

"Our panel includes three expert economists, one fortune teller, a tea leaf reader, and I will open a couple fortune cookies!"

Psychic near sign: Madam Zoe. Palms read futures told weather forcasts given.

' So as you can see,the water main 300 main ahead has burst.'

'Your future looks charming.'

'I see money. . . I see more money. . . I see a woman.'

'I see you will organise a pressure group to oppose the 'get the travellers out of town' campaign.'

"How dare you!"

Guy at drink stand says to Medium: 'Medium?'

'Any minute now I'll be getting a headache.'

"The sweater you knit him will be thrown out in February."

"I forsee you will have a better chance of winning the lottery than growing your testicles back."

'I sense that someone is about to swindle you.' 'Wow, thanks for the warning! How much do I owe you?'

What's In Her Bag? Coachella Edition!

'... And this is Goldsmith, our futures consultant.'

New Age Store.

"What's the final episode of 'Seinfeld' about?""It's about nothing."

'We must grasp this new opportunity'

A cow goes to the Fortune Teller - 'I can see two all beef patties, special sauce, lettuce, cheese, pickles, onions, on a sesame seed bun...!'

'If you had been born two days later you'd have been kind and clever with a great sense of humour.'

"It will be all your fault."

'... And your wife says; don't bother looking for the key to the drinks cabinet, because she's hidden it where you'll never find it.'

"You are going to have lots of puppies."

'This New Year you will be bathed in a sea of cash!...Hand on...Sorry. This New Year you will need a flea bath for some sort of rash.'

'Now think, Harris, what did you do different on that day?'

"Even if I did believe that he was communicating through you. I'm afraid it's too late to change the will now."

"I must say, that was a very detailed answer to my 'where do you see yourself in five years' question."

Like most billionaires, Hugh Andrews the third prefers to bowl with crystal pins.

"I see you, I see a vet, you're sore for weeks afterwards."

"We're having a special today on bright futures."

"You are going to meet a beautiful young lady at a biology lesson. . ."

Ill next Thursday

'You will meet a sexy, honest fortune teller who will take all your money!'

"I know I'm going to get older - but how much?"

Quick, follow that star