Crystal Gazing Enthusiast Gifts

'See anything in marketing?'

'Is the glass half full, Wally, or half empty?' - 'Oh, oh! Trick question!'

'Any minute now I'll be getting a headache.'

"Why bother?"

"The sweater you knit him will be thrown out in February."

"I forsee you will have a better chance of winning the lottery than growing your testicles back."

'I sense that someone is about to swindle you.' 'Wow, thanks for the warning! How much do I owe you?'

Tommy Cooper at the bottle bank - Glass, Bottle, Bottle, Glass..

Don't worry, I see babies, lots of babies...

'I foresee a few more months of creating havoc without consequences, and then, yes, I see the 'cute' factor will start to wear thin...'

'... And this is Goldsmith, our futures consultant.'

Madame Lucille - Fortune Teller 'I predict the future'.

A cow goes to the Fortune Teller - 'I can see two all beef patties, special sauce, lettuce, cheese, pickles, onions, on a sesame seed bun...!'

Romance of Radio Astronomy

"What's the final episode of 'Seinfeld' about?""It's about nothing."

"I know you think this sort of thing is nonsense sir, and I hate to prove you wrong. But according to my crystal ball, you're not going to give me the raise I'm about to ask for."

'If you had been born two days later you'd have been kind and clever with a great sense of humour.'

"In two million years from now people like me will still be very rich tanks to idiots like you!"

'... And your wife says; don't bother looking for the key to the drinks cabinet, because she's hidden it where you'll never find it.'

"I used to be a medium, but now I'm a large."

'Can you see the future of my 401(k)?'

"It will be all your fault."

'This New Year you will be bathed in a sea of cash!...Hand on...Sorry. This New Year you will need a flea bath for some sort of rash.'

Employment recruitment aptitude test

Windows or Mac?

"Even if I did believe that he was communicating through you. I'm afraid it's too late to change the will now."

"I must say, that was a very detailed answer to my 'where do you see yourself in five years' question."

YOU HAVE A VERY LARGE GENIUS GRANT LINE.

"We're having a special today on bright futures."

"I see you, I see a vet, you're sore for weeks afterwards."

'Let's see what they're screwing up today.'

"I know I'm going to get older - but how much?"

"Oh, it's you, I'm glad I picked up.You wouldn't believe how many annoying telepathicmarketing calls I get."

'You will meet a sexy, honest fortune teller who will take all your money!'

"You are going to meet a beautiful young lady at a biology lesson. . ."