Cruise Connoisseur Gifts

'But Sir we are still in port...'

'Another shipboard romance, Clifford?'

'Is it good or bad, that the rats get really comfortable?'

"Have ever been on this cruise?"

Terror on Coronavirus Cruises

Cutaway view of Ocean liner.

"Great cruise except the zip lining got flooded."

'We must be 50,000 calories away from home by now.'

I rather like bucket and spade holidays.

'How many times have I told to seize the day before it seizes you?'

Upper class child with toy cruise ship.

'Great cruise. When does the buffet open?'

'See you in two weeks!'

"You just had to book the economy cruise, didn't you?"

Excess Baggage: When you are on a cruise and they say the ship leaves at 5:30, they really mean the ship leaves at 5:30.

A traveler comments on the red in the sunset. A wine drinker misunderstands, thinking the traveler is referring to the red wine.

"Ticket and passport, please."

Excess Baggage: You never have to worry about finding your way around those humongous new cruise ships. Your stomach will lead you.

"I thought the travel agent said 40% off."

"We've made it more hellish by modeling it after corporate workplaces."

The Desert Island Package

Skiing at Sea

"The first of many cubicles..."

'The travel agent says there's nothing available on the port side. Do you want me to see if she's got anything on the sherry side?'

'It always great to get away from it all.'

"Well, we've learned that passengers will mutiny if they are served meatloaf two days in a row... Even if you do call it the South Sea Surprise on the second day!"

'The marvelous thing about a Singles cruise is, if you don't find an interesting man, you can drown your sorrows with interesting food.'

Cruise.

'Your first cruise then, mate?'

Viking River Raids

'We are now passing through the Sicilian Triangle, otherwise known as 'The Drink','

'I can't get them to leave. They want to sign up for another cruise.'

"Welcome to the staff! The compensation is generous and they have good benefits. They're cutting out our paid Bahamas cruise though, because too many employees never came back."

'This MUST be our ship!'

Excess Baggage: Take lots of photos on your cruise so you can show folks what you looked like before you gained those 20 pounds.