Cruise Aficionados Gifts

Cruise ship called "S.S. Diarrhea"

The Queen Mary 2: World's largest ocean liner.

"Are we old enough to consider a cruise, yet?"

Cutaway view of Ocean liner.

"Great cruise except the zip lining got flooded."

'We must be 50,000 calories away from home by now.'

Boat wedding.

Upper class child with toy cruise ship.

"Better start moving towards shelter: the weather forecast is for rain this afternoon..."

'Great cruise. When does the buffet open?'

"What if we're just a ship in somebody's bottle? Yar, here comes me existential crisis."

'See you in two weeks!'

"You just had to book the economy cruise, didn't you?"

Excess Baggage: When you are on a cruise and they say the ship leaves at 5:30, they really mean the ship leaves at 5:30.

"Ticket and passport, please."

"I thought the travel agent said 40% off."

Excess Baggage: You never have to worry about finding your way around those humongous new cruise ships. Your stomach will lead you.

The Desert Island Package

'It always great to get away from it all.'

Cruise.

"Well, we've learned that passengers will mutiny if they are served meatloaf two days in a row... Even if you do call it the South Sea Surprise on the second day!"

"OK, so you've won the mating fight, but will you please allow me visiting rights to see my kids?"

Skiing at Sea

'The marvelous thing about a Singles cruise is, if you don't find an interesting man, you can drown your sorrows with interesting food.'

'The travel agent says there's nothing available on the port side. Do you want me to see if she's got anything on the sherry side?'

'Your first cruise then, mate?'

Viking River Raids

'We are now passing through the Sicilian Triangle, otherwise known as 'The Drink','

"Welcome to the staff! The compensation is generous and they have good benefits. They're cutting out our paid Bahamas cruise though, because too many employees never came back."

Excess Baggage: Take lots of photos on your cruise so you can show folks what you looked like before you gained those 20 pounds.

Tui River Cruise

'This MUST be our ship!'

'I can't get them to leave. They want to sign up for another cruise.'

"This next tune is dedicated to my wife, who is currently away on a cruise. I call it, 'The Devil and the Deep Blue Sea'."

"So did you folks have a nice vacation?"