Cruise Connoisseur Pillows

'But Sir we are still in port...'

'Another shipboard romance, Clifford?'

'Is it good or bad, that the rats get really comfortable?'

"Have ever been on this cruise?"

Terror on Coronavirus Cruises

Cutaway view of Ocean liner.

"Great cruise except the zip lining got flooded."

'We must be 50,000 calories away from home by now.'

I rather like bucket and spade holidays.

'How many times have I told to seize the day before it seizes you?'

Upper class child with toy cruise ship.

'Great cruise. When does the buffet open?'

'See you in two weeks!'

Excess Baggage: When you are on a cruise and they say the ship leaves at 5:30, they really mean the ship leaves at 5:30.

"You just had to book the economy cruise, didn't you?"

A traveler comments on the red in the sunset. A wine drinker misunderstands, thinking the traveler is referring to the red wine.

"I thought the travel agent said 40% off."

Excess Baggage: You never have to worry about finding your way around those humongous new cruise ships. Your stomach will lead you.

"We've made it more hellish by modeling it after corporate workplaces."

"Ticket and passport, please."

The Desert Island Package

Skiing at Sea

'The travel agent says there's nothing available on the port side. Do you want me to see if she's got anything on the sherry side?'

"The first of many cubicles..."

"Well, we've learned that passengers will mutiny if they are served meatloaf two days in a row... Even if you do call it the South Sea Surprise on the second day!"

'It always great to get away from it all.'

'The marvelous thing about a Singles cruise is, if you don't find an interesting man, you can drown your sorrows with interesting food.'

Cruise.

'Your first cruise then, mate?'

Viking River Raids

'We are now passing through the Sicilian Triangle, otherwise known as 'The Drink','

"Welcome to the staff! The compensation is generous and they have good benefits. They're cutting out our paid Bahamas cruise though, because too many employees never came back."

Cut out and keep your own Room Service.

'I can't get them to leave. They want to sign up for another cruise.'

The Queen Mary 2: World's largest ocean liner.