Cross-disciplinary Jokester Gifts

Dentists who do appendectomies.

"They say it takes 10,000 hours to perfect something- I guess I was a bit hasty throwing that together in 144."

"If I might be serious for a moment..."

Teacher pointing to P,Q, on board: "OK class, which letter comes next? Redbeard, you should know this."

Kid in time-out writes 'it was the best of time out...'

"Can't you do something more creative than messing around with cupboard doors?"

"Of course they're permanent. I'm an artist."

'And I see you've listed opposable thumbs as your greatest asset...'

"Freshly ground pepper?"

"It's partly my fault he's been ignoring me lately. I'm the one who gave him the laser pointer."

'Eureka! After months of research and formulating algorithms, I've done it... I've discovered the secret to 'being cool'!'

"If I can't use a calculator, may I use my Dad's old slide-rule?"

"Class, this is David. He's our new financial exchange student."

'They said 'write what you know.' So I didn't write anything.'

'Hard or soft science?'

Death comes to both the Archbishop and the Salesman in Venice

'When you said, Dream Team, I thought you meant the Swiss Bikini Team.'

Pelobong

'If you don't behave we'll unfreeze your stem cells!'

'You're allowed to pick up the ball before it stops rolling, you know.'

"It's the formula for a black hole."

'This painting's in very poor taste.' 'Yes. It's from his sour grapes period.'

'You're breaking up...please text me.'

Broad Minded

"I thought SAT was 'Smart Alec Teacher'!"

The Principal of Inertia.

Undergraduate and don

'Hey,mom-have you seen my pet frog?'

"In an effort to avoid controversy, and to accommodate our attention spans, we will be replacing the commencement speaker with fortune cookies."

'Life size enlargements done here.' - 'Do my pictures of the pyramids please.'

'Tender and Juicy.'

"It's a brovella about my life in the frat. But if it's longer than two hundred pages it becomes a brahvel."