Eclectic Jokester Gifts

Man manages to look at woman's feet while playing the piano by sawing a piece of piano off

"They say it takes 10,000 hours to perfect something- I guess I was a bit hasty throwing that together in 144."

Kid in time-out writes 'it was the best of time out...'

"Can't you do something more creative than messing around with cupboard doors?"

"Of course they're permanent. I'm an artist."

"Freshly ground pepper?"

"It's partly my fault he's been ignoring me lately. I'm the one who gave him the laser pointer."

It's an autobiography of a guy who spent his whole life trying to get his first @#^& book published. Editor.

'They said 'write what you know.' So I didn't write anything.'

Men dancing

Pelobong

"Remember that ultimately we must answer to Chairs."

I think he's joking. "Placebo" can't be a real medical science term. It sounds like a funny name for a clown.

Romulus and Remus ( and their brother Derek )

'This painting's in very poor taste.' 'Yes. It's from his sour grapes period.'

'Hey,mom-have you seen my pet frog?'

"Yes, but can your philosophical speculations on existence also be relative to why I crossed the road?"

'If you cut back on children, at least try to eat them before they nibble on your house.'

'You're breaking up...please text me.'

'Okay Dad, time to unwind.'

'Existential truckstop'

'As I feared, the X-ray shows that you are crying inside.'

'Tender and Juicy.'

Dentists who do appendectomies.

'And that one painted and forgot to close the curtains.'

"It's a brovella about my life in the frat. But if it's longer than two hundred pages it becomes a brahvel."

'Life size enlargements done here.' - 'Do my pictures of the pyramids please.'

Celebrity Clown Rehab: 'And so how does that make you feel, Chuckles?'

"If we were really best friends, you would be fetching my slippers once in awhile."

'Sorry -- that's not on our list of approved churches.'

'Good morning, 'DICTIONARIES' department for, like, Similes.'

I laughed so hard that milk came out my nose.

"An olive or a twist?"

Summer Reading

'If Michelangelo Was a Cartoonist.'