Cross-disciplinary Jokester Pillows

Dentists who do appendectomies.

"They say it takes 10,000 hours to perfect something- I guess I was a bit hasty throwing that together in 144."

"If I might be serious for a moment..."

Teacher pointing to P,Q, on board: "OK class, which letter comes next? Redbeard, you should know this."

Kid in time-out writes 'it was the best of time out...'

"Can't you do something more creative than messing around with cupboard doors?"

'And I see you've listed opposable thumbs as your greatest asset...'

"Of course they're permanent. I'm an artist."

"Freshly ground pepper?"

"It's partly my fault he's been ignoring me lately. I'm the one who gave him the laser pointer."

It's an autobiography of a guy who spent his whole life trying to get his first @#^& book published. Editor.

'Eureka! After months of research and formulating algorithms, I've done it... I've discovered the secret to 'being cool'!'

"Class, this is David. He's our new financial exchange student."

"If I can't use a calculator, may I use my Dad's old slide-rule?"

'They said 'write what you know.' So I didn't write anything.'

'Hard or soft science?'

'When you said, Dream Team, I thought you meant the Swiss Bikini Team.'

I think he's joking. "Placebo" can't be a real medical science term. It sounds like a funny name for a clown.

Death comes to both the Archbishop and the Salesman in Venice

Pelobong

'If you don't behave we'll unfreeze your stem cells!'

'You're allowed to pick up the ball before it stops rolling, you know.'

"It's the formula for a black hole."

'This painting's in very poor taste.' 'Yes. It's from his sour grapes period.'

'You're breaking up...please text me.'

'Hey,mom-have you seen my pet frog?'

Broad Minded

The Principal of Inertia.

Undergraduate and don

How about you? Have you picked a major?

"I thought SAT was 'Smart Alec Teacher'!"

"In an effort to avoid controversy, and to accommodate our attention spans, we will be replacing the commencement speaker with fortune cookies."

"It's a brovella about my life in the frat. But if it's longer than two hundred pages it becomes a brahvel."

'Life size enlargements done here.' - 'Do my pictures of the pyramids please.'

'Alan, it's the 11th hole, and that Tiger Woods mask isn't intimidating us...'