Critiques Gifts

Bad Reads

'I hate to be so skeptical, but I still think the seance business is a hoax!'

Thought for today: "All the world's a stage." - Shakespeare. And boy, are there a lot of drama critics.

Herman Mankiewicz

Reading my Critics

"And on the eighth day, God sat back with a scotch and soda and waited for the critical reviews."

"Your usually vicious sarcasm is weak. Go pump some irony."

Lesser known greek gods,

Do you have to write the 5 paragraph essays to be a rich investment banker? Or rock star? Or famous actress? No. No. And no. Then why learn to write one? So when those jobs don't work out

"You'd think he hated music by the way he tortures it."

Man: 'How cute. He must like the movement.' Cat: 'There are some challenging themes here but little or no dramatic resonance.'

"VP J.D. Vance called Donald: 'cynical asshole,' a 'moral disaster,' a 'total fraud,' an 'idiot,' and suggested he might be 'America’s Hitler.'"

"Never mind, Harry. Just remember, the 'Saturday Review' loved it."

"Mom, please! I'm a married woman whose friends have been reviewed favourably by the New York Times."

"If I Can Make One Critic Smile..."

'It's cutting edge theatre.'

"Maybe I don't like stunning debuts."

"Heads up! It's another tidal wave of overwrought critical hyperbole!"

'Well I wouldn't have to fake orgasms if you didn't fake foreplay!'

The writers group met every Tuesday for support and fellowship.

A man on a giant book poses as Rodin's The Thinker.

"This is an excellent story, Doris, so far."

"Regarding the plot of your novel ... what on earth were you thinking?"

'I take it that the birthday cake is for this old trout you just served me?'

"Did you read my review on Amazon? Four out of four people found it helpful."

"Get off the stage and get a copy of 'Studies of Laughter in Interaction'—I think you'll enjoy it."

'He knows everything about art. But he doesn't know what he likes.'

'Right so lets be clear, when you said my book was a turgid reworking of a sad collection of hackneyed ideas you actually meant that it was a groundbreaking work of originality and genius...'

Learn to Be a Critic In The Privacy Of Your Own Home With The Apex Correspondence School Of Criticism!

The new Physics

Final words on gravestones.

"It has great depth, realized with such a unique economy of paint application... yet, there remains a curious aura of drivel I can't dismiss."

'Mummy, the review of this book was more interesting.'

"Thank you, Mr. Mulvaney, but what we're really looking for is someone with talent."

"Perhaps you wouln't have declared so many places 'worth a detour' if you'd held the map right way up!"