Critiquing Gifts

"He's a mental-health critic."

'This is for a different book.'

"The audience is really classy tonight, they are throwing quail eggs."

'I hate to be so skeptical, but I still think the seance business is a hoax!'

Herman Mankiewicz

Reading my Critics

"And on the eighth day, God sat back with a scotch and soda and waited for the critical reviews."

Lesser known greek gods,

"Your usually vicious sarcasm is weak. Go pump some irony."

"VP J.D. Vance called Donald: 'cynical asshole,' a 'moral disaster,' a 'total fraud,' an 'idiot,' and suggested he might be 'America’s Hitler.'"

Man: 'How cute. He must like the movement.' Cat: 'There are some challenging themes here but little or no dramatic resonance.'

"Never mind, Harry. Just remember, the 'Saturday Review' loved it."

"Mom, please! I'm a married woman whose friends have been reviewed favourably by the New York Times."

The Rise of Modern Art

"Heads up! It's another tidal wave of overwrought critical hyperbole!"

"Maybe I don't like stunning debuts."

"If I Can Make One Critic Smile..."

'It's cutting edge theatre.'

The writers group met every Tuesday for support and fellowship.

"This is an excellent story, Doris, so far."

"Get off the stage and get a copy of 'Studies of Laughter in Interaction'—I think you'll enjoy it."

'I take it that the birthday cake is for this old trout you just served me?'

A man on a giant book poses as Rodin's The Thinker.

"Did you read my review on Amazon? Four out of four people found it helpful."

"Regarding the plot of your novel ... what on earth were you thinking?"

The new Physics

Final words on gravestones.

Learn to Be a Critic In The Privacy Of Your Own Home With The Apex Correspondence School Of Criticism!

'Right so lets be clear, when you said my book was a turgid reworking of a sad collection of hackneyed ideas you actually meant that it was a groundbreaking work of originality and genius...'

'He knows everything about art. But he doesn't know what he likes.'

Master's Degrees of the Universe

'Bloomsbury Group, members only'

"Perhaps you wouln't have declared so many places 'worth a detour' if you'd held the map right way up!"

"Thank you, Mr. Mulvaney, but what we're really looking for is someone with talent."