Test Critique Gifts

'They say my tests are too hard. Maybe I should switch from Essay to Connect-the-Dot.'

Herman Mankiewicz

Reading my Critics

Lesser known greek gods,

Man: 'How cute. He must like the movement.' Cat: 'There are some challenging themes here but little or no dramatic resonance.'

"VP J.D. Vance called Donald: 'cynical asshole,' a 'moral disaster,' a 'total fraud,' an 'idiot,' and suggested he might be 'America’s Hitler.'"

"Never mind, Harry. Just remember, the 'Saturday Review' loved it."

"Maybe I don't like stunning debuts."

The writers group met every Tuesday for support and fellowship.

"Regarding the plot of your novel ... what on earth were you thinking?"

"Get off the stage and get a copy of 'Studies of Laughter in Interaction'—I think you'll enjoy it."

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'Right so lets be clear, when you said my book was a turgid reworking of a sad collection of hackneyed ideas you actually meant that it was a groundbreaking work of originality and genius...'

'Mummy, the review of this book was more interesting.'

'You are doing it wrong.'

Suggestions and Cheap Shots.

"The audience is really classy tonight, they are throwing quail eggs."

Sculptor's chippings

"Are you sure you're not just teaching to the test?"

"My two-year-old actually did paint that."

Art Critics.

'Nice show but you could use some cartoons.'

'I was going to teach them the meaning of life ... but it wasn't on the test.'

"Well, once you get your PhD on 'The Return of the Repressed in Early Jacobean Drama', then we;ll discuss how disappointed you are."

"To me..It says Art Council crap regional funding"

'Typical phallic egocentrism!'

Factory Recall Unicorn.

"Now on view: Old paintings by dead white men through whenever…"

"It's a postmodern mosaic, almost lyrical in its undercurrent." "My five-year-old will be happy to hear that."

'There are two men and a dog out there, and the dog is asleep.'

"Right here is where you lost the narrative flow."