Test Critique Gifts

'They say my tests are too hard. Maybe I should switch from Essay to Connect-the-Dot.'

Thought for today: "All the world's a stage." - Shakespeare. And boy, are there a lot of drama critics.

Herman Mankiewicz

Reading my Critics

Lesser known greek gods,

"VP J.D. Vance called Donald: 'cynical asshole,' a 'moral disaster,' a 'total fraud,' an 'idiot,' and suggested he might be 'America’s Hitler.'"

Do you have to write the 5 paragraph essays to be a rich investment banker? Or rock star? Or famous actress? No. No. And no. Then why learn to write one? So when those jobs don't work out

"You'd think he hated music by the way he tortures it."

Man: 'How cute. He must like the movement.' Cat: 'There are some challenging themes here but little or no dramatic resonance.'

"Never mind, Harry. Just remember, the 'Saturday Review' loved it."

"Maybe I don't like stunning debuts."

The writers group met every Tuesday for support and fellowship.

"Regarding the plot of your novel ... what on earth were you thinking?"

"Get off the stage and get a copy of 'Studies of Laughter in Interaction'—I think you'll enjoy it."

Learn to Be a Critic In The Privacy Of Your Own Home With The Apex Correspondence School Of Criticism!

'Right so lets be clear, when you said my book was a turgid reworking of a sad collection of hackneyed ideas you actually meant that it was a groundbreaking work of originality and genius...'

'Mummy, the review of this book was more interesting.'

'You are doing it wrong.'

"The audience is really classy tonight, they are throwing quail eggs."

Suggestions and Cheap Shots.

Sculptor's chippings

"My two-year-old actually did paint that."

"Are you sure you're not just teaching to the test?"

Bernard Levin

Art Critics.

"It's a postmodern mosaic, almost lyrical in its undercurrent." "My five-year-old will be happy to hear that."

'Typical phallic egocentrism!'

'Nice show but you could use some cartoons.'

Factory Recall Unicorn.

Boys score better than girls on SATs. Practice tests. That's so unfair. Don't stress! They're pointless tests with idiotic questions that are useless in real life. Ah!

"To me..It says Art Council crap regional funding"

'There are two men and a dog out there, and the dog is asleep.'

"Now on view: Old paintings by dead white men through whenever…"

"Well, once you get your PhD on 'The Return of the Repressed in Early Jacobean Drama', then we;ll discuss how disappointed you are."

'I was going to teach them the meaning of life ... but it wasn't on the test.'