Testing Critic Gifts

If students are more than a test score why aren't teachers?

'I hate to be so skeptical, but I still think the seance business is a hoax!'

Reading my Critics

"And on the eighth day, God sat back with a scotch and soda and waited for the critical reviews."

"Your usually vicious sarcasm is weak. Go pump some irony."

"Is there any way I could get a dashboard instead of a report card?"

"Never mind, Harry. Just remember, the 'Saturday Review' loved it."

"Heads up! It's another tidal wave of overwrought critical hyperbole!"

'It's cutting edge theatre.'

"Mom, please! I'm a married woman whose friends have been reviewed favourably by the New York Times."

"This is a test. This is only a test. IF this had been the real world it'd be your job you'd be fighting for, not a letter of the alphabet."

"If I Can Make One Critic Smile..."

A man on a giant book poses as Rodin's The Thinker.

"What can I say? Second grade just hasn't lived up to the hype."

'I take it that the birthday cake is for this old trout you just served me?'

"This is an excellent story, Doris, so far."

"Did you read my review on Amazon? Four out of four people found it helpful."

'He knows everything about art. But he doesn't know what he likes.'

Final words on gravestones.

The new Physics

"Perhaps you wouln't have declared so many places 'worth a detour' if you'd held the map right way up!"

"Thank you, Mr. Mulvaney, but what we're really looking for is someone with talent."

'Bloomsbury Group, members only'

'They say my tests are too hard. Maybe I should switch from Essay to Connect-the-Dot.'

Dog writes a review: 'A sublime book, I devoured it in one sitting ...'

Constructive Criticism 50c.

Author Reading Today: 'Typos I missed when correcting proofs.'

'I wasn't playing hooky -- I was fleeing the deteriorating public school system.'

"One can be against entitlements, and still feel a sense of entitlement."

"Now this is what I call an honest little pub!"

"The audience is really classy tonight, they are throwing quail eggs."

"You'll never believe who's here."