Critiquing Design Gifts

'Mon Dieu! This year, your collection is really daring, mon cher Karl!'

"I think that's one of his early 'blank canvases'. I think there are some bigger ones in the next room."

'It's called 'Oh Bugger It!' if you must know!'

"Well....I could've done this!"

"Is it me, or is Jasper Johns a genius?" "Über-genius, Larry. Über!"

"No - you’re right. It’s dumb."

The Rise of Modern Art

"Well, your feng shui isn't my feng shui."

"Don't these fools realize they're violating every principle of feng-shui?"

"He's left out the staples"

"The audience is really classy tonight, they are throwing quail eggs."

"The subaqueous qualities of the biomorphic forms spacially undermine the larger metaphorical resonance of the mark-making."

Bad Office Planning

'The artist did this one during his 'I've got no idea' - period.'

"At least you have taste when it comes to your computer's wallpaper."

Factory Recall Unicorn.

"First the open floor plan, now this."

"He's a mental-health critic."

"He's so ostentatious about how un-ostentatious he is."

"We went with an open floor plan because it can really facilitate a shared sense of hysteria."

"Would it have killed him to create a screened-in porch?!"

"He's not an enfant terrible, he's just terrible."

'Well, you're not Michaelangelo!'

"It's structured as a set of two parallel stories that no one would ever want to read."

"I haven't seen their work before, I like their use of light!"

"If art was meant to be understood by the common man then the common man would have a degree in art appreciation."

"Oh, Bruno! Just look at the subtle hues in those tulips!"

'Abstract painting.'

'WHO is the architect here?'

Nude Defacing a Staircase.

"Your problem seems to stem from an appalling lack of design sense."