Critic Reviews Gifts

'The review said drinking this wine is like drinking a Rembrandt. All I taste is the frame.'

Ed Flanders, Deconstruction Worker

'I hate to be so skeptical, but I still think the seance business is a hoax!'

Reading my Critics

'Look! The new long awaited, highly anticipated but ultimately disappointing novel by that guy you like.'

No Elgar!

"And on the eighth day, God sat back with a scotch and soda and waited for the critical reviews."

"Your usually vicious sarcasm is weak. Go pump some irony."

Lesser known greek gods,

"Never mind, Harry. Just remember, the 'Saturday Review' loved it."

"Heads up! It's another tidal wave of overwrought critical hyperbole!"

'It's cutting edge theatre.'

"Mom, please! I'm a married woman whose friends have been reviewed favourably by the New York Times."

Can't Touch This

"If I Can Make One Critic Smile..."

The writers group met every Tuesday for support and fellowship.

"I like his earlier work better, particularly the ones I said I didn't like at the time."

'After researching our dream vacation online with reviews, commentaries, we cams and pictures, we felt we'd been there and didn't need the trip!'

"Moby Richard by Herman Melville" "Wonderful! Not sure about the title—let's discuss editor."

A man on a giant book poses as Rodin's The Thinker.

"This is an excellent story, Doris, so far."

"Get off the stage and get a copy of 'Studies of Laughter in Interaction'—I think you'll enjoy it."

'I take it that the birthday cake is for this old trout you just served me?'

"Regarding the plot of your novel ... what on earth were you thinking?"

"Did you read my review on Amazon? Four out of four people found it helpful."

'He knows everything about art. But he doesn't know what he likes.'

'Right so lets be clear, when you said my book was a turgid reworking of a sad collection of hackneyed ideas you actually meant that it was a groundbreaking work of originality and genius...'

Learn to Be a Critic In The Privacy Of Your Own Home With The Apex Correspondence School Of Criticism!

The new Physics

"Be careful of that sun, Stewart. You're starting to look like the front page of the 'Times Book Review.'"

'Bloomsbury Group, members only'

"Perhaps you wouln't have declared so many places 'worth a detour' if you'd held the map right way up!"

"It's a great story, funny and entertaining - and better still it's not won a single prize for literature."

"Thank you, Mr. Mulvaney, but what we're really looking for is someone with talent."

'Mummy, the review of this book was more interesting.'