Book Critics Gifts

"'See Spot run.' 'See Spot run?' Who wrote this crap?"

"Hey, it's 'Crime and Punishment.' You had to know the second half was going to suck."

"What I really want to do is chew up children’s books."

'A literacy program? -- you want everybody writing TELL-ALL books?'

"That's the guy I hired to read Proust for me."

Bob encounters one of the bugs in the Jean Paul Sartre fan website.

Ed Flanders, Deconstruction Worker

First Novels.

Thomas Mann.

Jean-Paul Sartre

"Now I really hate poetry."

'Look! The new long awaited, highly anticipated but ultimately disappointing novel by that guy you like.'

Blue Stockings

Why we need poetry. . .

German Expressionist Breakfast

It's Dostoevsky. It's Melville. It's Flaubert. But it doesn't dance.

"It turns out everyone here is self-published."

Shakespeare was bisexual

Emily Dickinson: Mime - "I think she's saying something about death."

The Forbidden Joyce Kilmer

"Oh, this old thing?"

"I did the math. If we want to read all of Proust in this lifetime, we have to start tomorrow morning."

The Proust of Twitter

George Orwell

Beckett for Beginners: "Waiting for Thumbkin"

"Heads up! It's another tidal wave of overwrought critical hyperbole!"

The World's Biggest Book Club

Shakespeare loved a grammar joke

"Tracey, this is Gene. He also read the Nancy Reagan book in unbound galleys."

Günter Grass

"The moral of the story, honey, is that being a celebrity does not make you a credible children’s book author."

"I’ve seen better metaphors in my litter box."

"It's felt to be his most thought provoking work."

"Maybe I don't like stunning debuts."

"Nevermore." "You don't have to use 'air quoths' every time."