Book Critique Fan Gifts

'We'll have to have this appendix out. . .'

Ed Flanders, Deconstruction Worker

Meet Stephen Krkzk Author of 'Why Conspiracy Theories Are Nonsense'

'Look! The new long awaited, highly anticipated but ultimately disappointing novel by that guy you like.'

Pets are reading the book 'Animal Farm'.

"Well, we needed the rain."

Dating an English Major

"Gone with the wind with cats" "Frankly, my dear, I don't give a damn." "Me neither, who cares—let's take a nap."

'You want a quick read? How about this one: 'Memoirs of an Amnesic'?'

"I'm eating baklava through my balaclava!"

'Tarzan interviewing for a position as a corporate lawyer.' An interviewer asks, 'When we go against the gorillas, how can we be sure that you won't forget which side you're representing?'

"I like his earlier work better, particularly the ones I said I didn't like at the time."

"Moby Richard by Herman Melville" "Wonderful! Not sure about the title—let's discuss editor."

Limerick On A Grecian Urn

"Is this fiction, non-fiction or historical fiction?"

A man with Dwarfism is reading Little Women.

"Regarding the plot of your novel ... what on earth were you thinking?"

Book Shop Plot Spoilers

"Be careful of that sun, Stewart. You're starting to look like the front page of the 'Times Book Review.'"

'Right so lets be clear, when you said my book was a turgid reworking of a sad collection of hackneyed ideas you actually meant that it was a groundbreaking work of originality and genius...'

"Yes, could you discuss the inspiration for the protagonist? Specifically, the motivations which propel the direction of his narrative?" "I would prefer not to." "Bartleby, the author."

Silvio Berlusconi - The emperors new clothes.

"It all happened so fast. 'Notable Book of the Year' to the remainder shelves to HERE in just six months!"

Frankenstein's Ancestry

Book vs technology

"It's a great story, funny and entertaining - and better still it's not won a single prize for literature."

'Bront?saurus.'

Eugene Ionesco

"Let's go on vacation, get disappointed, complain about prices, read terrible novels, buy trashy souvenirs, miss the dog and look forward to coming home."

"I wish you would actually sell one of these novels...all these returned manuscripts are giving me backaches!"

Adam and Eve Arrested

BIBLE STORIES, 'This is full of battle and other BOY stuff - not a single romantic comedy!'

"First I alienated the apes who'd raised me. Then there was a lot of turmoil with the colonials pulling out. Now Jane and me are semi-retired and I haven't swing through the trees in ages. Want a drink?"