Book Critics T-Shirts

"'See Spot run.' 'See Spot run?' Who wrote this crap?"

"Hey, it's 'Crime and Punishment.' You had to know the second half was going to suck."

"What I really want to do is chew up children’s books."

'A literacy program? -- you want everybody writing TELL-ALL books?'

"That's the guy I hired to read Proust for me."

Bob encounters one of the bugs in the Jean Paul Sartre fan website.

Ed Flanders, Deconstruction Worker

Thomas Mann.

First Novels.

Jean-Paul Sartre

'Look! The new long awaited, highly anticipated but ultimately disappointing novel by that guy you like.'

"Now I really hate poetry."

Blue Stockings

Why we need poetry. . .

German Expressionist Breakfast

"It turns out everyone here is self-published."

Shakespeare was bisexual

It's Dostoevsky. It's Melville. It's Flaubert. But it doesn't dance.

Emily Dickinson: Mime - "I think she's saying something about death."

The Proust of Twitter

"Oh, this old thing?"

The Forbidden Joyce Kilmer

"I did the math. If we want to read all of Proust in this lifetime, we have to start tomorrow morning."

"The moral of the story, honey, is that being a celebrity does not make you a credible children’s book author."

"I’ve seen better metaphors in my litter box."

"Tracey, this is Gene. He also read the Nancy Reagan book in unbound galleys."

"It's felt to be his most thought provoking work."

"Heads up! It's another tidal wave of overwrought critical hyperbole!"

"Nevermore." "You don't have to use 'air quoths' every time."

Beckett for Beginners: "Waiting for Thumbkin"

"Maybe I don't like stunning debuts."

Shakespeare loved a grammar joke

"I like his earlier work better, particularly the ones I said I didn't like at the time."

About the curriculum. The contemporary novel from Austen to Dickens...

"Regarding the plot of your novel ... what on earth were you thinking?"