Reviews Gifts

Performance reviews in Hell.

A new book with a little bit of this and a little bit of that.

"Well, thanks for the box of raisins, but we can't promise you a very good Trick or Treat rating on Yelp."

Feedback Card: How was your death?

'After researching our dream vacation online with reviews, commentaries, we cams and pictures, we felt we'd been there and didn't need the trip!'

'Nope...1443 bloggers have already panned it.'

"You do realize this may affect my review of you on Yelp?"

Praise for "OCTOBER SUN"

Can't Touch This

Anyone else think the movie was better? Book club bouncer.

Multi Cinema. First, I was afraid I might fall asleep. Then I was afraid I might not fall asleep!

Rate your stay on earth. Would you recommend earth to a friend?

"Somebody has been giving my porridge one-and-a-half-star reviews also!"

Children say: 'Cool!', 'Boring!', 'Bestest film ever!'

"The Squire theater is just two blocks down, right on the corner. the show thee, 'Whispers of Danger' is a standard mystery, with a lackluster second act. Mis Laporte, however, gives the most lyrical and sensitive performance of her career."

"I'm starting to think those rave reviews about this place are rigged."

Thought for today: "All the world's a stage." - Shakespeare. And boy, are there a lot of drama critics.

"Snow White swears by these 10 products for flawless beauty."

"Heads up! It's another tidal wave of overwrought critical hyperbole!"

"Mom, please! I'm a married woman whose friends have been reviewed favourably by the New York Times."

"It's just one bad review and we all know who wrote it."

Learn to Be a Critic In The Privacy Of Your Own Home With The Apex Correspondence School Of Criticism!

No, no, Grok, we love your creative voice! Ort is just here to do a little punch-up.

"I've just been reincarnated, anyone here know what iphone we're up to?"

A book reviewer reads between the margins.

Book publishing.

Dog writes a review: 'A sublime book, I devoured it in one sitting ...'

"Which should we go see: the straight romantic comedy where the heroine's best friend is a gay man, or the gay romantic comedy where the hero's best friend is a straight woman?"

"As your attorney, I advise you to assign blame, question motives, attack the media, THEN send your steak back to the kitchen."

The Music Critic.

"I realize your steak was tough but you didn't have to make such a stink about it."

'I preferred her in the margarine commercial.'

"Well, what's your recommendation?"

Barry Norman

"I need a pitchfork that's just a pitchfork."