Reading Reviews Gifts

'I can't wait to see the reviews in the newspaper to find out whether I like the movie or not.'

'I have no idea what it is, but 2357 customers bought this on Amazon.'

'Oooh! My cousin got a 5 star review! What's it say?'

"Which should we go see: the straight romantic comedy where the heroine's best friend is a gay man, or the gay romantic comedy where the hero's best friend is a straight woman?"

Who's really behind all one-star national parks reviews.

Confession. Terrible confession. My favorite kind. By day, I work at this caf

'The critic says, 'the film had me on the edge of my seat and long gone before it ended'.'

"The jury was too distracted to concentrate, so I've found a more focused, enthusiastic bunch...12 Amazon reviewers."

No, you idiots, they don't include a "comments" section.

"It's amazing, Darlin', just how fast the kids grow up!"

Occu-Pie Mars

"In the first place, it isn't "maddening crowd.' It's 'madding crowd.' "

"1984 by George Orwell. Project 2025. Presidential transition project."

The Anti-Agent

"It seems my fear of death has been replaced by my fear of politics."

"And the last little piggy cried, 'Oui, oui, oui' all the way home."

"Are you insane?!" The Velveteen Skunk

"Can I borrow the car keys?"

'I remember when you used to look for answers using your astute powers of deduction.'

'Reading, writing and arithmetic are important, son. Someday you might sign autographs for money.'

'I'm reading aloud, Jeremy - My lips are SUPPOSED to be moving!'

'My penmanship has really improved since I got a laser printer.'

'Am I being too suspicious or do you think it's possible that they're crooked?'

'Let's not go by the book.'

"That's the guy I hired to read Proust for me."

Mike (The Situation) is rumored to have written the original manuscript for his best-selling memoir entirely out of bronzer.

"Staff support"

"Yes. I said 2 by 2, but you needed to use 2 by 4s for the Ark...begin again."

Copycats

I should be a writer when I grow up...

'Couldn't Peter claim Mr. McGregor's garden was an 'attractive nuisance?'

Blue Stockings - Woman revealing herself as author

Bob encounters one of the bugs in the Jean Paul Sartre fan website.

"Too bad about old Ainsworth. Published and published, but perished all the same."

"Have you been on the moon again, young man?"