Customer Review Reader Gifts

"This paw has you meeting a lovely poodle, an enchantress who will win your heart... but look, here, this is telling me she's lousy with fleas."

'Good news. Your cholesterol has stayed the same, but the research findings have changed.'

'Not bad, Ms. Newborn. But take another crack at it, and this time remember that 'earnings-per-share' is the alter upon which all other numbers are sacrificed.'

'It's baseball season!'

Up-to-date Career-Specific Romance Novels

Love Birds love dancing together

"This place is famous for its short fiction about food."

"I'm torn, Randy. I don't know what to think." "About what, little buddy?" "Star Trek. The last movie got rave reviews. Critics and audiences loved it. Therefore, I loved it too. But it didn't come anywhere close to earning $1 billion at the box office. And these days, any movie that doesn't earn $1 billion is a complete failure. Therefore, I must hate it. I'm in limbo until the hive mind comes to a consensus." "Except for honey, nothing good ever comes from hives."

Upper West Side Story

"Way too much tongue!"

"My novel is about a romance between an octogenarian and a septuagenarian, but I can't remember which is which."

'Is there a psychiatrist in the house - the cast is very depressed over opening night reviews!'

Inside the Bermuda Romantic Triangle

Love birds: 'How do I love thee? Let me count the ways.'

What do you mean, you like me. We're love birds!

"Which should we go see: the straight romantic comedy where the heroine's best friend is a gay man, or the gay romantic comedy where the hero's best friend is a straight woman?"

"I'm afraid that due to a recent reorientation of forward facing customer resource functionality you're going to have to make the complaint to yourself... in triplicate."

My husband doesn´t understand you.

"The studio's asked me to see if I can dumb down some Danielle Steel."

"Shall I compare thee to a summer's day?"

"Take this mission statement and rewrite it so that it sounds like we care about our customers."

"Don't make me send over the bad waitress."

'Be careful! She loves to curl up by the fire with a good author!'

Financially Secure Romantic with sufficient fire in belly seeks damsel in distress...

"Our latest survey shows our customers basically want just three things: prompt service, and apology when mistakes occur and to be treated politely..."

"Writing that book was a real strain."

'Your call is very important to us, so please continue to hold.'

A new book with a little bit of this and a little bit of that.

Two bedbugs after a tryst.

'Oooh! My cousin got a 5 star review! What's it say?'

'Read any good book reviews lately?'

"Captain, some passengers say that they are not interested in your romance with that flight attendant, and ask you to turn the speaker off."