Customer Review Reader T-Shirts

"What are they saying about you on Yelp?"

"This paw has you meeting a lovely poodle, an enchantress who will win your heart... but look, here, this is telling me she's lousy with fleas."

'Good news. Your cholesterol has stayed the same, but the research findings have changed.'

'Not bad, Ms. Newborn. But take another crack at it, and this time remember that 'earnings-per-share' is the alter upon which all other numbers are sacrificed.'

'It's baseball season!'

Up-to-date Career-Specific Romance Novels

"I'm torn, Randy. I don't know what to think." "About what, little buddy?" "Star Trek. The last movie got rave reviews. Critics and audiences loved it. Therefore, I loved it too. But it didn't come anywhere close to earning $1 billion at the box office. And these days, any movie that doesn't earn $1 billion is a complete failure. Therefore, I must hate it. I'm in limbo until the hive mind comes to a consensus." "Except for honey, nothing good ever comes from hives."

"This place is famous for its short fiction about food."

Love Birds love dancing together

"My novel is about a romance between an octogenarian and a septuagenarian, but I can't remember which is which."

Upper West Side Story

'Is there a psychiatrist in the house - the cast is very depressed over opening night reviews!'

"Way too much tongue!"

My husband doesn´t understand you.

Inside the Bermuda Romantic Triangle

What do you mean, you like me. We're love birds!

"The studio's asked me to see if I can dumb down some Danielle Steel."

Love birds: 'How do I love thee? Let me count the ways.'

"I'm afraid that due to a recent reorientation of forward facing customer resource functionality you're going to have to make the complaint to yourself... in triplicate."

Payback Time

"Which should we go see: the straight romantic comedy where the heroine's best friend is a gay man, or the gay romantic comedy where the hero's best friend is a straight woman?"

"Shall I compare thee to a summer's day?"

"Take this mission statement and rewrite it so that it sounds like we care about our customers."

"Don't make me send over the bad waitress."

'Be careful! She loves to curl up by the fire with a good author!'

Financially Secure Romantic with sufficient fire in belly seeks damsel in distress...

"Writing that book was a real strain."

"Our latest survey shows our customers basically want just three things: prompt service, and apology when mistakes occur and to be treated politely..."

I love how this writer revels in romantic passion. And defends challenging boyfriends. She embraces passion even if hearts are broken. She got my heart racing! How was your book? Boring. You wouldn't like it.

"Hello, police? I appear to have killed my husband with chapters 24 of 50 Shades of Grey..."

'Your call is very important to us, so please continue to hold.'

A new book with a little bit of this and a little bit of that.

Two bedbugs after a tryst.

'Read any good book reviews lately?'

'Oooh! My cousin got a 5 star review! What's it say?'