Critique Reader T-Shirts

'If you believe Christmas is over-commercialised, press the Sponsored by Cola red button.'

'I hate to be so skeptical, but I still think the seance business is a hoax!'

Reading my Critics

"And on the eighth day, God sat back with a scotch and soda and waited for the critical reviews."

"Your usually vicious sarcasm is weak. Go pump some irony."

Lesser known greek gods,

"Never mind, Harry. Just remember, the 'Saturday Review' loved it."

"Heads up! It's another tidal wave of overwrought critical hyperbole!"

'It's cutting edge theatre.'

"Mom, please! I'm a married woman whose friends have been reviewed favourably by the New York Times."

"If I Can Make One Critic Smile..."

The writers group met every Tuesday for support and fellowship.

"Regarding the plot of your novel ... what on earth were you thinking?"

'I take it that the birthday cake is for this old trout you just served me?'

"Did you read my review on Amazon? Four out of four people found it helpful."

Filling the Missile Gap

"This is an excellent story, Doris, so far."

"Get off the stage and get a copy of 'Studies of Laughter in Interaction'—I think you'll enjoy it."

A man on a giant book poses as Rodin's The Thinker.

"I'm torn, Randy. I don't know what to think." "About what, little buddy?" "Star Trek. The last movie got rave reviews. Critics and audiences loved it. Therefore, I loved it too. But it didn't come anywhere close to earning $1 billion at the box office. And these days, any movie that doesn't earn $1 billion is a complete failure. Therefore, I must hate it. I'm in limbo until the hive mind comes to a consensus." "Except for honey, nothing good ever comes from hives."

'He knows everything about art. But he doesn't know what he likes.'

The new Physics

Learn to Be a Critic In The Privacy Of Your Own Home With The Apex Correspondence School Of Criticism!

An acceptable level of TV violence.

'Is there a psychiatrist in the house - the cast is very depressed over opening night reviews!'

"Perhaps you wouln't have declared so many places 'worth a detour' if you'd held the map right way up!"

'Bloomsbury Group, members only'

'Mummy, the review of this book was more interesting.'

"Thank you, Mr. Mulvaney, but what we're really looking for is someone with talent."

'You are doing it wrong.'

Constructive Criticism 50c.

Dog writes a review: 'A sublime book, I devoured it in one sitting ...'

Author Reading Today: 'Typos I missed when correcting proofs.'