Book Reviewing Gifts

'Read any good book reviews lately?'

"In my spare time, I write reviews on Goodreads."

"Rate this book: 3 stars out of 5."

"But you got some good reviews too, yeah?"

"I loved your next book!"

Ed Flanders, Deconstruction Worker

'Look! The new long awaited, highly anticipated but ultimately disappointing novel by that guy you like.'

"Heads up! It's another tidal wave of overwrought critical hyperbole!"

Can't Touch This

"Mom, please! I'm a married woman whose friends have been reviewed favourably by the New York Times."

"I like his earlier work better, particularly the ones I said I didn't like at the time."

'After researching our dream vacation online with reviews, commentaries, we cams and pictures, we felt we'd been there and didn't need the trip!'

"Moby Richard by Herman Melville" "Wonderful! Not sure about the title—let's discuss editor."

"Be careful of that sun, Stewart. You're starting to look like the front page of the 'Times Book Review.'"

Learn to Be a Critic In The Privacy Of Your Own Home With The Apex Correspondence School Of Criticism!

'Right so lets be clear, when you said my book was a turgid reworking of a sad collection of hackneyed ideas you actually meant that it was a groundbreaking work of originality and genius...'

A book reviewer reads between the margins.

No, no, Grok, we love your creative voice! Ort is just here to do a little punch-up.

"It's a great story, funny and entertaining - and better still it's not won a single prize for literature."

'Mummy, the review of this book was more interesting.'

Book publishing.

Dog writes a review: 'A sublime book, I devoured it in one sitting ...'

'Horace spends his spare time being a rock critic.'

"Which should we go see: the straight romantic comedy where the heroine's best friend is a gay man, or the gay romantic comedy where the hero's best friend is a straight woman?"

'I preferred her in the margarine commercial.'

The Music Critic.

Gingerbread man sits at desk marked food editor

Reviewing a Scientific Paper - Etiquette for References.

"I feel bad about Nora Ephron's neck."

The Critic...

"What did I think about the play? About an hour too long!"

"Failure is definitely the best teacher, but I'm thinking auditing a class with Success might not hurt."

"How was the play!"

"Writing that book was a real strain."

"With one hand I'm reading the past decade's most critically acclaimed novel. With my other hand I'm searching for enough negative reviews to justify my decision to abandon it."