Book Reviewer Gifts

Book publishing.

Dog writes a review: 'A sublime book, I devoured it in one sitting ...'

Newspaper editor says to woman: 'Agnes, you review children's picture books �' please stop saying 'I read it in one sitting.''

"It's so-so."

"It is a tale told by an idiot, full of sound and fury, signifying nothing, and No.1 on the best-seller list."

Unsolved Mysteries

Randy, if you were stranded on an island, what's the one book you'd want to have along with you? Easy: Blood Meridian by Cormac McCarthy. It's got the perfect heft to knock coconuts out of trees. Well, I'd like to have How to Get off an Island, by Archie MacGuyver. That title's actually a metaphor for overcoming shyness. We really should have our own book review show.

"Rate this book: 3 stars out of 5."

"Heads up! It's another tidal wave of overwrought critical hyperbole!"

'Umm, well, thank you Mr. Snuggles for that unorthodox report on 'To kill a mockingbird'.'

At a publishing company - waste paper bin labeled as out with overflowing inbox dropping into it

A book reviewer reads between the margins.

The best books of the year you never got around to reading.

"Condense this down to a series of memes and we'll take another look at it."

Ed Flanders, Deconstruction Worker

Thought for today: "All the world's a stage." - Shakespeare. And boy, are there a lot of drama critics.

'Look! The new long awaited, highly anticipated but ultimately disappointing novel by that guy you like.'

Can't Touch This

"Mom, please! I'm a married woman whose friends have been reviewed favourably by the New York Times."

"It's just one bad review and we all know who wrote it."

"I like his earlier work better, particularly the ones I said I didn't like at the time."

'After researching our dream vacation online with reviews, commentaries, we cams and pictures, we felt we'd been there and didn't need the trip!'

"Moby Richard by Herman Melville" "Wonderful! Not sure about the title—let's discuss editor."

"Be careful of that sun, Stewart. You're starting to look like the front page of the 'Times Book Review.'"

'Right so lets be clear, when you said my book was a turgid reworking of a sad collection of hackneyed ideas you actually meant that it was a groundbreaking work of originality and genius...'

Learn to Be a Critic In The Privacy Of Your Own Home With The Apex Correspondence School Of Criticism!

"It's a great story, funny and entertaining - and better still it's not won a single prize for literature."

No, no, Grok, we love your creative voice! Ort is just here to do a little punch-up.

'Mummy, the review of this book was more interesting.'

'The end. Well, time for bed. What are you writing?'

The Music Critic.

Performance reviews in Hell.

Reviewing a Scientific Paper - Etiquette for References.

"I feel bad about Nora Ephron's neck."

"I don't mind if something's Shakespearean, just as long as it it's not Shakespeare."