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A new book with a little bit of this and a little bit of that.

"Well, thanks for the box of raisins, but we can't promise you a very good Trick or Treat rating on Yelp."

Feedback Card: How was your death?

'After researching our dream vacation online with reviews, commentaries, we cams and pictures, we felt we'd been there and didn't need the trip!'

'Nope...1443 bloggers have already panned it.'

Praise for "OCTOBER SUN"

Can't Touch This

"Somebody has been giving my porridge one-and-a-half-star reviews also!"

Children say: 'Cool!', 'Boring!', 'Bestest film ever!'

"The Squire theater is just two blocks down, right on the corner. the show thee, 'Whispers of Danger' is a standard mystery, with a lackluster second act. Mis Laporte, however, gives the most lyrical and sensitive performance of her career."

"I'm starting to think those rave reviews about this place are rigged."

"Heads up! It's another tidal wave of overwrought critical hyperbole!"

"Snow White swears by these 10 products for flawless beauty."

"Mom, please! I'm a married woman whose friends have been reviewed favourably by the New York Times."

Learn to Be a Critic In The Privacy Of Your Own Home With The Apex Correspondence School Of Criticism!

No, no, Grok, we love your creative voice! Ort is just here to do a little punch-up.

A book reviewer reads between the margins.

Book publishing.

Dog writes a review: 'A sublime book, I devoured it in one sitting ...'

"I realize your steak was tough but you didn't have to make such a stink about it."

'Horace spends his spare time being a rock critic.'

"Which should we go see: the straight romantic comedy where the heroine's best friend is a gay man, or the gay romantic comedy where the hero's best friend is a straight woman?"

"I need a pitchfork that's just a pitchfork."

The Music Critic.

'I preferred her in the margarine commercial.'

"As your attorney, I advise you to assign blame, question motives, attack the media, THEN send your steak back to the kitchen."

"Well, what's your recommendation?"

Reviewing a Scientific Paper - Etiquette for References.

'I'd like to return this shredder.'

"You're right, Son. This movie did have a great cast."

The Critic...

"What did I think about the play? About an hour too long!"

"Failure is definitely the best teacher, but I'm thinking auditing a class with Success might not hurt."

"How was the play!"

"Writing that book was a real strain."