Critics Gifts

Learn to Be a Critic In The Privacy Of Your Own Home With The Apex Correspondence School Of Criticism!

Pevsner Cell Block H.

'Your bad attitude explodes across the living room, keeping me on the edge of my seat.'

"This is Jeremy Kyle's Emergency Room. It's traumatic, it's revolting and it's acutely embarrassing. So I asked for a professional opinion. Unfortunately the results came back negative."

Writing a literary classic.

'I hate to be so skeptical, but I still think the seance business is a hoax!'

Thought for today: "All the world's a stage." - Shakespeare. And boy, are there a lot of drama critics.

Herman Mankiewicz

Reading my Critics

"And on the eighth day, God sat back with a scotch and soda and waited for the critical reviews."

"Your usually vicious sarcasm is weak. Go pump some irony."

"See..? We told you there was nothing there..."

Lesser known greek gods,

Man: 'How cute. He must like the movement.' Cat: 'There are some challenging themes here but little or no dramatic resonance.'

Trump Poutine

'We interrupt this programme for a sex flash.'

"VP J.D. Vance called Donald: 'cynical asshole,' a 'moral disaster,' a 'total fraud,' an 'idiot,' and suggested he might be 'America’s Hitler.'"

"You'd think he hated music by the way he tortures it."

"Never mind, Harry. Just remember, the 'Saturday Review' loved it."

"If I Can Make One Critic Smile..."

"Mom, please! I'm a married woman whose friends have been reviewed favourably by the New York Times."

"Maybe I don't like stunning debuts."

"Heads up! It's another tidal wave of overwrought critical hyperbole!"

'It's cutting edge theatre.'

The writers group met every Tuesday for support and fellowship.

"This is an excellent story, Doris, so far."

A man on a giant book poses as Rodin's The Thinker.

"Get off the stage and get a copy of 'Studies of Laughter in Interaction'—I think you'll enjoy it."

'I take it that the birthday cake is for this old trout you just served me?'

"Did you read my review on Amazon? Four out of four people found it helpful."

"Regarding the plot of your novel ... what on earth were you thinking?"

Rumors, lies and innuendo.

"The state of graduates literacy levels is shoking and both my colleegs agrree that there maths isn't much better."

'He knows everything about art. But he doesn't know what he likes.'

The new Physics