Crisis Connoisseur Gifts

'Kinda makes you wonder why we even bother to meet.'

'This guy needs help!..Let's call a Meeting...Won't you join us?'

'Call the boss! We're in trouble!'

Man in bookstore is looking at a large section of books devoted to stock market crash predictions.

'This extraordinary first sign of life...A European crisis agreement has a long and perilous journey ahead before it has any hope of developing into a fully-grown Greek bailout deal...'

Euro crisis: abandon ship.

Reporter on Aleppo

On and Keep Carry Calm

"Don't worry, we can deal with any emergency. I've ordered the mint to print more money."

'If I had to use one word to describe our strategy.'

Chiller Theatre

"Do you want to be vaguely dissatisfied with Italian or Korean?"

"It started with a simple case of peer-review."

Weatherman: "Tonight's weather forecast is confusing, followed tomorrow by downright bewildering."

'I'm going to add to the confusion. I'm going to sign my name upside-down.'

Spontaneous Kombucha

'Time to buy.'

"I said to make a thousand CLONES."

'Let me at it! Let me see!!'

The Forever Stamp

Meowlzebub

"My kid could do that."

'I don't know. It's too busy.'

"Rob is a functioning train wreck."

allovertheplace.com

'Your dilemma is fabulous. Imagine what a dramaturge could do with it.'

'The new intelligent dummies aren't working out. They've figured out there's a break!'

"The show's a big hit, but a little too risque. It's not worth the aggravation we're getting from the watchdog groups."

" . . . and white, not yellow. Block, not shredded. Aged, but not too aged that it doesn't slice well."

Mr Briggs's Pleasures of Hunting - No. XII

'This advertising campagn is stupid and disgusting and it appeals to peoples' most primitive instincts. I love it.'

"They're at that age where it's only cool to wag ironically."

"Poor bastard. The New York 'Times' just panned his zinfandel."

'Arrivals and Departures - this railroad governed by Heisenberg's uncertainty principle'

Revolving Doors Ltd. - 'He's in, out, in, out ...'