Existential Crisis Connoisseur Gifts

Chiller Theatre

"I've decided to step down as CEO so I can spend more time with my money."

"It started with a simple case of peer-review."

'Call the boss! We're in trouble!'

'My pessimism keeps me optimistic.'

"We evolved from asteroids"

'Does it bother you that we have all the money?'

Screwdriver labelled 'Buyer' and screw labelled 'seller'.

'Let me at it! Let me see!!'

"My kid could do that."

Sculptor's chippings

"Sponsoring Christmas this year was an act of sheer marketing genius."

'Just be patient. Greed always makes a come back.'

Scientist drinking night sky through telescope

Dollar

"Poor bastard. The New York 'Times' just panned his zinfandel."

Coming Soon! Taco Sphere

"The most important thing isn't money - it's love. Luckily I love money!"

Man in bookstore is looking at a large section of books devoted to stock market crash predictions.

Company take-over bid

"Love is the temporary illusion that you're not alone in the universe"

"Is there any way we could describe this bit of old tart that would make a Russian oligarch pay £2 million for it?"

"It's almost flu season! Stay indoors! Touch no one!"

Euro crisis: abandon ship.

"Robust, full-bodied bouquet with just a hint of bitter, mean-spirited despair."

"But you got some good reviews too, yeah?"

"I negotiated. He's going to let us suffocate in our own ennui!"

Reporter on Aleppo

"Uh-oh...I fear this means trouble at the stock exchange!"

"Have you a cabernet that will pair well with dysfunction?"

"The difference between criminal geniuses and politicians is none of them are geniuses."