Existential Crisis Connoisseur Pillows

Chiller Theatre

"I've decided to step down as CEO so I can spend more time with my money."

At This Restaurant, There Are Only Two Dishes on the Menu and They Both Suck

"It started with a simple case of peer-review."

'Call the boss! We're in trouble!'

'My pessimism keeps me optimistic.'

"We evolved from asteroids"

'Does it bother you that we have all the money?'

Screwdriver labelled 'Buyer' and screw labelled 'seller'.

'Let me at it! Let me see!!'

"My kid could do that."

Sculptor's chippings

"Sponsoring Christmas this year was an act of sheer marketing genius."

Dollar

Coming Soon! Taco Sphere

'Just be patient. Greed always makes a come back.'

Scientist drinking night sky through telescope

"Poor bastard. The New York 'Times' just panned his zinfandel."

"The most important thing isn't money - it's love. Luckily I love money!"

Man in bookstore is looking at a large section of books devoted to stock market crash predictions.

Company take-over bid

Euro crisis: abandon ship.

"Love is the temporary illusion that you're not alone in the universe"

"It's almost flu season! Stay indoors! Touch no one!"

"Is there any way we could describe this bit of old tart that would make a Russian oligarch pay £2 million for it?"

"Robust, full-bodied bouquet with just a hint of bitter, mean-spirited despair."

Big deal! If you were smart, you'd have waited for the price of gold to go up. Everyone's a critic.

"But you got some good reviews too, yeah?"

"Uh-oh...I fear this means trouble at the stock exchange!"

Now Showing: "Mucky Wucky" Rated Z. That means Roger Ebert slept through it.

"That outfit is a nasty mix of stripes and patterns."

Reporter on Aleppo

"I negotiated. He's going to let us suffocate in our own ennui!"

Yeah, last words are like snappy comeback --- You always think of the best ones after it's too late!

"Have you a cabernet that will pair well with dysfunction?"