Crime Show Critic Pillows

"Wear a wire? Oh, no, all of our police informants have gone wireless."

'No doubt about it Captain. See these markings? This arrow belongs to Robin Hood!'

Assault 'n' Vinegar

"This is probably not the time to admit I only joined the force because I figured we'd just be chasing cat burglars."

"You can't prove that I broke it! Where's your physical evidence? Fingerprints or a DNA profile?"

Good Cop/Bad Cholesterol

'This has the makings of their toughest season ever.'

Difference of Opinion

"Now that's a win."

"Don't make me warn you again, monkey. Stay outa the curiosity racket."

'We subpoenaed all of 'Mr. Big's' electronic messages. They're in morse code.'

"I always forget what an expert I am in curling."

Man: 'How cute. He must like the movement.' Cat: 'There are some challenging themes here but little or no dramatic resonance.'

'You don't have a license and registration, do you?'

Can't Touch This

"At some point, there's only so high you can raise the volume before you admit you're never gonna understand what British detectives are saying."

Fred Dinsdale - Forensic expert.

"#notguilty."

"I like it but does it get only the one channel?"

"Stand up, honey. The president's on. You're committing treason."

'When I grow up I want to join the SWAT team!'

'I hate frisking magicians!'

"Take your time. Do you see the person who made you wear that dress?"

"Okay so which one stole your cereal?"

'Hey, buddy -- can you keep a secret?'

'Of course, I'm not one of those glamorous paleontologists who are all over TV these days.'

"I think I'm as patient as the next person, but my husband wouldn't stop saying 'yo,' so I shot him."

'Careful, Mugsy, he's got a tool.'

Miami Mice