Crime Show Connoisseur Pillows

Relaxation with Dick Wolf

'The History Channel is all reruns.'

Sure, he's a zombie but hey, it's nice to finally meet someone who is more interested in my brains than my body.

"I said the males were 'evolving' – I didn't say they were 'maturing.'"

New and improved! BunkerBuster! Get out of the sand trap every single time - or your money back!!

'No doubt about it Captain. See these markings? This arrow belongs to Robin Hood!'

'Tony, you always try to lead.'

'He likes to power nap.'

'This is one of our most recent vintages!'

"I warned you not to use that club...now look, you struck oil!"

Mrs. Claus has a ladies night out.

'These goalscoring celebrations are getting out of hand.'

Night of the Latkes

Farm Humor.

"This is probably not the time to admit I only joined the force because I figured we'd just be chasing cat burglars."

Good Cop/Bad Cholesterol

"You can't prove that I broke it! Where's your physical evidence? Fingerprints or a DNA profile?"

'Which one of you told Glurk to stretch before running?'

Happy Hour

The Trojan Beagle.

'I was an egg in the Easter play.'

"The yellow spotted green bird, eats its body weight in bugs, and mates once every three years."

Emergency Phone.

Bangers and Mash

'Which wine list would you like, Sir - Classics or Plonk?'

The Snarky District

"You talkin' to me? You talkin' to me? Then who the heck else are you talking... you talking to me?"

10 Good Things about a Minnesota Winter.

'Take of the fruit and eat . . . Well, peanuts actually.'

"Well, at least it's an improvement from last night."

Girl who can't cook meets guys who can't fix stuff.

'Satchel, I have just had a revelation.'

"Oh boy charades! I love charades! Something big? Is it a bird? It's sharp! Behind? Above?"

'Gimme a Canadian club on the rocks!'

"I'm weighed down with so many gadgets, I'll need a push to start me off."