Crime Show Buffs Pillows

'Big Mikey will now add a few bullet points.'

Skiers in ski masks are stopped at gunpoint

"Don't forget, mugging goes back one hour on Sunday"

'We subpoenaed all of 'Mr. Big's' electronic messages. They're in morse code.'

'No doubt about it Captain. See these markings? This arrow belongs to Robin Hood!'

Assault 'n' Vinegar

"This is probably not the time to admit I only joined the force because I figured we'd just be chasing cat burglars."

Good Cop/Bad Cholesterol

"You can't prove that I broke it! Where's your physical evidence? Fingerprints or a DNA profile?"

"Just give me your wallet. Trust me, you do not want to deal with my misplaced sense of entitlement."

"Now that's a win."

"Don't make me warn you again, monkey. Stay outa the curiosity racket."

'You don't have a license and registration, do you?'

"At some point, there's only so high you can raise the volume before you admit you're never gonna understand what British detectives are saying."

Fred Dinsdale - Forensic expert.

He's making a list --- Holmes solves cases quicker when he itemizes deductions.

Police film evidence

"#notguilty."

'I hate frisking magicians!'

'When I grow up I want to join the SWAT team!'

"I think I'm as patient as the next person, but my husband wouldn't stop saying 'yo,' so I shot him."

"Take your time. Do you see the person who made you wear that dress?"

'Hey, buddy -- can you keep a secret?'

'Careful, Mugsy, he's got a tool.'

He loves the water.

Miami Mice

Lawn Order. It's a landscaping show about maintaining a tidy yard.

"Okay so which one stole your cereal?"

'I got 397 dead birds and the mayor breathing down my neck. So, is this our perp or just another copycat?'

"All I can figure is that he must have been inspecting the water quality of our lakes and rivers when he became entangled in cement."

"I can't be sure...I only got a quick look."

'And for those of you calling in to say he is behind us - OH NO he isn't.'

'It's heartbreaking to see Reynolds in trouble for fraud again, but I always look forward to his rooftop chases.'

'There's my place. Technically it's still a crime scene, but you're more than welcome to traipse through it.'

Cat points to the dog who injured him, at a police station.