Crime Series Enthusiasts Pillows

"This is too hard, but I'd recognize him on his own."

'No doubt about it Captain. See these markings? This arrow belongs to Robin Hood!'

"This is probably not the time to admit I only joined the force because I figured we'd just be chasing cat burglars."

"You can't prove that I broke it! Where's your physical evidence? Fingerprints or a DNA profile?"

Good Cop/Bad Cholesterol

"Just give me your wallet. Trust me, you do not want to deal with my misplaced sense of entitlement."

'We subpoenaed all of 'Mr. Big's' electronic messages. They're in morse code.'

"#notguilty."

He's making a list --- Holmes solves cases quicker when he itemizes deductions.

Police film evidence

'When I grow up I want to join the SWAT team!'

'I hate frisking magicians!'

"Take your time. Do you see the person who made you wear that dress?"

Lawn Order. It's a landscaping show about maintaining a tidy yard.

He loves the water.

'Hey, buddy -- can you keep a secret?'

"Okay so which one stole your cereal?"

'Careful, Mugsy, he's got a tool.'

Miami Mice

"All I can figure is that he must have been inspecting the water quality of our lakes and rivers when he became entangled in cement."

"I can't be sure...I only got a quick look."

'And for those of you calling in to say he is behind us - OH NO he isn't.'

CSI Wonderland. (Photographer takes a picture of a cracked Humpty Dumpty. Investigators collect evidence from the scene.)

Cat points to the dog who injured him, at a police station.

'There's my place. Technically it's still a crime scene, but you're more than welcome to traipse through it.'

I understand that our cat Magus died. I miss her a lot. But I wish my parents wouldn't tiptoe around it. House of Java.net Cybercafe. You don't have to watch Youtube clips of "CSI: Miami" to understand that death is a part of life. The thing I don't understand about our cat's death is, who would've killed her and left a mountain of unresolved clues that only a crack forensics team can figure out? Where were you at 8:45pm? The Youtube generation grows up fast.

"Stick to the specials and no one gets hurt."

Police lineup

'We suspect death by Sunday supplement.'

Back in 2 to 5 years.

'He's been shot!'

"Did you hear - we're being transferred from bomb-sniffing to trans fats."

Bottle Opener Sticks 'Em Up For Armed Robber In Liquor Store

The Clown Hit

'I'm glad you're making friends, Darrel.'