Crime Show Enthusiast Pillows

"I'm neither a good cop nor a bad cop, Jerome. Like yourself, I'm a complex amalgam of positive and negative personality traits that emerge or not, depending on circumstances."

C.S.I.R.S.

"TV violence made him do it. Says he'll name shows if we drop the charges."

"Hurry up with your investigation—he's lying on the remote."

'Well, keep searching lads, they must've left some sort of clues.'

"Yes, that's him there. The fellow making the finger-across-the-throat gesture."

"You've been watching too many of those CSI shows."

"Just tell us what we want to know, and you can sit in the comfortable chair."

Crime suspect removes shoes to avoid detective.

"So where's the good cop?"

'There's no sign of foul play.'

"It's the police dog again. He'd like to ask you a couple more questions."

"Hey you. Whatever that thing is you're holding...put it down carefully and walk toward me with your hands on your head."

'And for those of you calling in to say he is behind us - OH NO he isn't.'

'Looks like another typical caffeine overdose.'

"I tried killing him with kindness, but all I could find were his pruning shears."

The old good-cop, painfully shy-cop routine.

'No, no, no. Our insurance pays you when a tragedy happens, Mr. Soprano.'

"He's been in there 'searching for the bad guy' for over three hours now."

Good Dog and Bad Dog Interrogation.

"I want to warn you anything you say may be taken down and sold to the tabloids."

'Ah...the new fall line up!'

"This crime has been offset by all the other crimes I didn't commit last year."

'Kerrigan, see what you can get out of these witnesses.'

'I think we need a new sketch artist.'

Criminal Teenager.

Cash in Your Attic, investigation squad.

"So. . . you're binge-watching Scandinavian noir to cheer yourself up?"

Road rage with a serial killer

"And I would've gotten away with it, too, if it weren't for you meddling kids, and the bloodstains on my clothes and in the trunk of my car!"

"So now you sniff out drugs! That�s it, no more TV cop show"

Missing Persons Bureau: 'Where is everyone?'

"It's his phone...it was set on silent...but deadly."

'I hate to shoot you both, but the paperwork is actually simpler this way.'

"Talk, dammit, or it's 24 hours of children's TV!"