Crime Show Devotee Pillows

Jail security.

'No doubt about it Captain. See these markings? This arrow belongs to Robin Hood!'

Assault 'n' Vinegar

"You can't prove that I broke it! Where's your physical evidence? Fingerprints or a DNA profile?"

Good Cop/Bad Cholesterol

"This is probably not the time to admit I only joined the force because I figured we'd just be chasing cat burglars."

'We subpoenaed all of 'Mr. Big's' electronic messages. They're in morse code.'

'You don't have a license and registration, do you?'

Fred Dinsdale - Forensic expert.

"#notguilty."

He's making a list --- Holmes solves cases quicker when he itemizes deductions.

Police film evidence

'When I grow up I want to join the SWAT team!'

'I hate frisking magicians!'

"Okay so which one stole your cereal?"

Lawn Order. It's a landscaping show about maintaining a tidy yard.

Miami Mice

'Hey, buddy -- can you keep a secret?'

He loves the water.

"Take your time. Do you see the person who made you wear that dress?"

I always forget - Are we supposed to tip?

"Why not stay with your mother and me? The Feds will never find you here."

Mort Park! You mean Killer. You're sprung, Killer. I'm free to go? Unless you're so tough now you'd rather stay. I mean a guy named Killer probably likes jail. Mail me my blanky.

James Gandolfini in his driveway with a tablet

'Careful, Mugsy, he's got a tool.'

Block Closed for Gritty, Hard-Edged Tale

"All I can figure is that he must have been inspecting the water quality of our lakes and rivers when he became entangled in cement."

"I can't be sure...I only got a quick look."

'And for those of you calling in to say he is behind us - OH NO he isn't.'

CSI Wonderland. (Photographer takes a picture of a cracked Humpty Dumpty. Investigators collect evidence from the scene.)

'Try to think of this as a learning experience.'

Cat points to the dog who injured him, at a police station.

"I'm sorry- when you said 'bad' cop, I assumed you meant incompetent."

I understand that our cat Magus died. I miss her a lot. But I wish my parents wouldn't tiptoe around it. House of Java.net Cybercafe. You don't have to watch Youtube clips of "CSI: Miami" to understand that death is a part of life. The thing I don't understand about our cat's death is, who would've killed her and left a mountain of unresolved clues that only a crack forensics team can figure out? Where were you at 8:45pm? The Youtube generation grows up fast.

'We want more police on our streets!' 'WHAT?! Do you have any idea how dangerous it is out there?'