Crime Show Lover Pillows

'Don't you people ever take a pulse? ! '

"I'm not a rat. I'm a person who ratted you out. There's a difference. You need to accept that so we can get past it."

"Talk Jobson, or I put the new Celine Dion CD on."

"You think he's your friend? He's in there right now ratting you out."

Solicitors looking for charitable contributions. One solicitor has a gun.

"Got caught robbing Peter to pay Paul. But they were really after Paul – and offered me a reduced sentence for my testimony against him."

'Well, sweetie, I hope youse enjoyed Take Yer Daughter t' Woik Day... Unfortunately, now y' know too much!'

"I lined the pockets myself."

Loin of duty

"Your smartphone knows too much!"

Good carp/Bad carp

"You're under arrest for an attempted murder."

'A fine? It's not as though I ran over more than one building inspector.'

"When I first saw you on TV, I just knew you were innocent of stalking"

Bent Police Dogs

'We're cracking down on prostitutes, McNaught...not prosthetics.'

'He puts on a big tough-guy front, but he cried and cried during the 'Sopranos' finale.'

'He got as far as the door before I clobbered him with a salami.'

"Hi I'm ringing on behalf of your husband.He's been held up."

"I'm sorry- when you said 'bad' cop, I assumed you meant incompetent."

Rough game last night, then?

'No suspicious circumstances here chief. Just some old rich dude who spoiled himself rotten.'

Parachuting with Concrete Shoes

"Can Greg come out and play ball with the Feds?"

"...were in fact not victims but just had a really, really hard time getting out of bed this morning."

'Do you see your assailant anywhere in this photo array?'

'No doubt about it Captain. See these markings? This arrow belongs to Robin Hood!'

Assault 'n' Vinegar

"You can't prove that I broke it! Where's your physical evidence? Fingerprints or a DNA profile?"

Good Cop/Bad Cholesterol

"This is probably not the time to admit I only joined the force because I figured we'd just be chasing cat burglars."

'We subpoenaed all of 'Mr. Big's' electronic messages. They're in morse code.'

"It's not the first time he'd been warned about wearing a long tie when leaning over the shredder."

'You don't have a license and registration, do you?'

Fred Dinsdale - Forensic expert.