Cop Show Lover Pillows

'He's working undercover to find out 'what up' with youth gangs.'

Trial by Media

"And by president we mean the one on Saturday night tv, not the real one. He kinda sucks."

"Do you know any other songs besides the theme to The Andy Griffin Show?"

'A sitcom has to be quirky or formulaic. There is no middle way.'

America's Funniest Interest Rate Hikes

"I'm Lester Holt, and this, is date night."

"I'll be glad when the television is fixed."

'It's a program on paranoia. Every time I leave the room, they stop and wait for me to come back.'

"My problem is a recessive gene for honesty and a dominant gene for robbery."

"Spoiler alert."

'When I grow up I want to join the SWAT team!'

"No Hand Sanitiser"

"I said freeze, punk, I didn't mean literally!"

'I don't care how you do it...just make it look like an accident.'

Just our luck...old school crime translation classes!

Man hitting a TV and going out of focus himself.

Menopause and the City

War Heros Variety Night (playing a tune on his medals).

"... and I would have gotten away with it if it weren’t for you meddling forensic pathologists."

"I'm sorry- when you said 'bad' cop, I assumed you meant incompetent."

Clownton Abbey

Good Morning Britain

"You're under arrest for an attempted murder."

Parachuting with Concrete Shoes

'Don't you people ever take a pulse? ! '

Alan Davies.

Bunny TV.

"I'm sorry, sir, but a blade's a blade."

"Last night we watched three movies back to back. I was the one facing the telly."

'They profiled me just because I'm a bank robber!'

"C-Span is our reality television."

'Would you believe, all this is just part of a new reality show?'

'Did he say anything before he died?'

Sue Perkins