Crime Show Host Pillows

"Hey - didn't I see you on TV last night?"

'No doubt about it Captain. See these markings? This arrow belongs to Robin Hood!'

Assault 'n' Vinegar

"This is probably not the time to admit I only joined the force because I figured we'd just be chasing cat burglars."

Good Cop/Bad Cholesterol

"You can't prove that I broke it! Where's your physical evidence? Fingerprints or a DNA profile?"

'We subpoenaed all of 'Mr. Big's' electronic messages. They're in morse code.'

"Now that's a win."

"Don't make me warn you again, monkey. Stay outa the curiosity racket."

'You don't have a license and registration, do you?'

"At some point, there's only so high you can raise the volume before you admit you're never gonna understand what British detectives are saying."

Fred Dinsdale - Forensic expert.

"#notguilty."

'When I grow up I want to join the SWAT team!'

'I hate frisking magicians!'

"Why not stay with your mother and me? The Feds will never find you here."

'Careful, Mugsy, he's got a tool.'

"Okay so which one stole your cereal?"

Miami Mice

"I think I'm as patient as the next person, but my husband wouldn't stop saying 'yo,' so I shot him."

"Take your time. Do you see the person who made you wear that dress?"

'Hey, buddy -- can you keep a secret?'

'I got 397 dead birds and the mayor breathing down my neck. So, is this our perp or just another copycat?'

"All I can figure is that he must have been inspecting the water quality of our lakes and rivers when he became entangled in cement."

'And for those of you calling in to say he is behind us - OH NO he isn't.'

'It's heartbreaking to see Reynolds in trouble for fraud again, but I always look forward to his rooftop chases.'

"I can't be sure...I only got a quick look."

"Wear a wire? Oh, no, all of our police informants have gone wireless."

'There's my place. Technically it's still a crime scene, but you're more than welcome to traipse through it.'

Cat points to the dog who injured him, at a police station.

"I'm sorry- when you said 'bad' cop, I assumed you meant incompetent."