Crime Show Buff Pillows

'I sentence you to ten years ? thank you for choosing the Fourth District Court.'

'Now take your time. And don't worry, they can't see you. This is a two-way mirror.'

Take your time, and try to identify the person who assaulted you with a pie.

The Professionals.

"Dumb ass, huh! Well there's more than one way to grill a thick sausage."

Dragon Victim

"Oops! I'll see myself out!"

Mike (The Situation) is rumored to have written the original manuscript for his best-selling memoir entirely out of bronzer.

'No doubt about it Captain. See these markings? This arrow belongs to Robin Hood!'

Assault 'n' Vinegar

hard-boiled egg...

Backfire

'You know too much,'

"You can't prove that I broke it! Where's your physical evidence? Fingerprints or a DNA profile?"

"Bloody hell!"

"We don't call them 'horns' anymore. They're interactive audio crash deterrent stimulators."

For speedy operation and ease of control get a pony.

"Now that's a win."

'We subpoenaed all of 'Mr. Big's' electronic messages. They're in morse code.'

A bear is sat on an armchair with old man slippers.

"Don't make me warn you again, monkey. Stay outa the curiosity racket."

"Is there a vegan option?"

"The numbers don't lie . . . but we do."

'You don't have a license and registration, do you?'

'This fish isn't tank broken - I want a refund!'

A man walks his dog wearing a cone.

I understand that our cat Magus died. I miss her a lot. But I wish my parents wouldn't tiptoe around it. House of Java.net Cybercafe. You don't have to watch Youtube clips of CSI: Miami to understand that death is a part of life. The thing I don't understand about our cat's death is, who would've killed her and left a mountain of unresolved clues that only a crack forensics team can figure out? Where were you at 8:45 p.m.? The Youtube Generation grows up fast.

'He's our new Bone Specialist!'

'Yes... but is he a good watch dog?'

"Britain's Got Talent is now in its tenth astonishingly brilliant year!"

Cat Hecklers

"At some point, there's only so high you can raise the volume before you admit you're never gonna understand what British detectives are saying."

'Sorry, but I'm arresting you for being in possession of an endangered wild coho salmon.'

"Beware of the frog"

Rollercoaster opens when it is still being built.