Crime Show Watcher Pillows

'Sir, the stupidity of your actions was directly proportional to the number of surveillance cameras watching you.'

'I'm afraid we've got a cereal killer on our hands!'

Don't you hate that? You bring someone in for questioning, then you forget what you were going to ask him.

'Identity theft, eh? -- Just who do you think you are?'

"...We know it was one of these bastards that done it.'

"Don't pull that ditzy-chick, routine with me! A witness saw you cross the road, what I want to know is. . . why?"

'No doubt about it Captain. See these markings? This arrow belongs to Robin Hood!'

"You can't prove that I broke it! Where's your physical evidence? Fingerprints or a DNA profile?"

"This is probably not the time to admit I only joined the force because I figured we'd just be chasing cat burglars."

Good Cop/Bad Cholesterol

Joan Hickson

'We subpoenaed all of 'Mr. Big's' electronic messages. They're in morse code.'

"Don't make me warn you again, monkey. Stay outa the curiosity racket."

"Now that's a win."

"At some point, there's only so high you can raise the volume before you admit you're never gonna understand what British detectives are saying."

"#notguilty."

He's making a list --- Holmes solves cases quicker when he itemizes deductions.

'When I grow up I want to join the SWAT team!'

'I hate frisking magicians!'

Before the riots/after the riots

Miami Mice

Lawn Order. It's a landscaping show about maintaining a tidy yard.

"I think I'm as patient as the next person, but my husband wouldn't stop saying 'yo,' so I shot him."

He loves the water.

"Okay so which one stole your cereal?"

'Careful, Mugsy, he's got a tool.'

'Hey, buddy -- can you keep a secret?'

"Take your time. Do you see the person who made you wear that dress?"

'I got 397 dead birds and the mayor breathing down my neck. So, is this our perp or just another copycat?'

"All I can figure is that he must have been inspecting the water quality of our lakes and rivers when he became entangled in cement."

"WIFI, Amazon, credit cards. Pretty much every password is named after me."

'And for those of you calling in to say he is behind us - OH NO he isn't.'

'It's heartbreaking to see Reynolds in trouble for fraud again, but I always look forward to his rooftop chases.'

"I can't be sure...I only got a quick look."

Cat points to the dog who injured him, at a police station.