Crime Show Binge-watcher Pillows

'Cause of death is still unknown. We hope to learn more once he's dead'

"That's him..all right, only taller, younger, and thinner!"

'Seriously, not a single fingerprint?!'

'Not guilty, your 'onour.'

"What makes him the bad cop is that he's in the wrong interrogation room and he just gave you my doughnut."

"Keep using da burner phone."

Doughnut Criminals

"IT appears the deceased had been playing gangster-rap."

'I let my conscience be my guide, and it turned out to be a sociopath.'

'The close Ops surveillance people have just sent these photo's over and we now strongly suspect that Jimmy the Greek is onto us...'

'... and make it look like an accident.'

Police crime scene.

' Police investigating the theft of sixty cases of custard powder have released this photofit of a man they'd like to question.'

'Keep grilling him. He used his one phone call to order pizza.'

'I'm not the good cop or the bad cop. I'm the mutual cop.'

'It's not my fault, your honor. I have an overactive killing gland.'

The pair of socks waited confidently in the corner, secure in the knowledge that no matter what happens, no one ever suspects the socks.

"I'm afraid there was a fly trap..."

Mobster Dogs Burying Bones

"Hey - make sure the mask covers his nose."

"That's the one who smacked me with her purse!"

"Make it look like natural causes."

"That's the problem with this business. It's always 'who have you whacked for me lately?'"

Dear, could you please pick up some batteries? The ones in the remote are dead and I feel like I'm Amish.

'No doubt about it Captain. See these markings? This arrow belongs to Robin Hood!'

"I've no idea. Maybe it's the slumber channel."

Good Cop/Bad Cholesterol

"You can't prove that I broke it! Where's your physical evidence? Fingerprints or a DNA profile?"

"I need a little more drama like a ten part mini-series."

"This is probably not the time to admit I only joined the force because I figured we'd just be chasing cat burglars."

"I swapped my 'couch to 5k' training app for a '5k to couch' one!"

'We subpoenaed all of 'Mr. Big's' electronic messages. They're in morse code.'

'At least he isn't into drugs.'

Alien uses astronaut's visor as TV to watch news.

"Clive used to be an astronaut."